greek40's picture

5th gr. daughterl at school

Hi, knew to this...
My daughter is great, her grades are B's. good girl all around. At school she seems to be o.k. no one picks on her, she seems to be liked by others, but still has a hard time socializing. She still searches for friends to play with. Everyday it will be a different person or group. Has not really connected with anyone. She kind a feels like the third wheel. We have lots of friends that we socialize with. My daughter is usually the oldest in the bunch (by 1 year or so) We socialize with parents and kids that go to the same school, same grade. They are great together. But at school she is kinda left out "politely" My 2nd daughter is in grade 3, she is a social butterfly. Everyone talks to her, plays with her, call her invites her to parties.
Is there anything wrong with my older one, or is this normal... It has been like this since grade 1.

thanks for listening...

tamz's picture

I never found a "group"that I fit into when I was a child. My sisters had friends, best friends and small groups. Even on into high school I never really found ONE group to belong to.

I was never bullied and I did wish at times that I was part of a small group, but overall I did fine. I was friends with certain girls in each class or even certain girls outside of school but I never really found my clique.

I did not grow up lonely or disturbed in any way. I have friends now, but I am still very selective. As an adult, I am successful in the field of Human Resources and I have the kind of personality that allows me to remain unattached to the person and just deal with the situation.

I think if your daughter is not having real problems like being bullied or ignored then you should not worry too much. If she sometimes talks to you about wishing she had a group to fit into, then listen to her and tell her you understand. But also remind her that she is perfecty lovable and valuable on her own without a permanent clique. Sometimes not having a clique allows a person more variety and opportunity to meet individuals that she might not even talk to if she was distracted with her own clique.