skwarepeg's picture
skwarepeg

4-yr-old doesn't like school anymore

Brief background: two years ago, because of my daughter's HIGH social drive, I allowed her to go to a Mother's Day Out program 3 hours for 2 days a week. Last year, I allowed her to go to preschool 3 days a week because she loved school, loved her teacher, always wanted to know if she got to go to school that day, etc., etc.

I started to feel like she wasn't as excited about school a while back. I'd ask her about school and she didn't really tell me anything different. A couple of times she has told me that "nobody" wants to play with her. She started becoming "shy" when my husband dropped her off in the a.m., which is not at ALL how she is in every other situation.

So now my daughter tells me she doesn't like school. I have tried every way I can think of to uncover (1) why this is, and (2) why the change.  While trying to not make a big deal of it, yet still listen hard, I've learned that she says she likes every single teacher and every single kid. Sometimes she mentions one boy who hit her LAST year, but that's it.

This week I had the parent-teacher conference, and uncovered nothing there either, especially about the nobody wanting to play with her business. She said that it's not that way at all.

Now I'm really stumped as to how to get to the bottom of her reasons for not liking school.

Has anyone else gone through this? What ended up being the reason? How did you discover it? Or if anyone has any suggestions about how to get to the root of it,  I would certainly appreciate it.



concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

My son has some social difficulties himself. He's 5 yrs old and in spec ed. For him, he needs to be taught how to appropriately act in social situations. I'm sure this is much different from your daughter, but I have a suggestion that has helped us. Organize playdates at your home while you're present. Observe your daughter's social behavior and the behavior of the other children. See if you notice any conflicts in personalities or interests. Do this w/ several children in your daughter's class. If you notice any difficulties either w/ your daughter or any of her classmates, discuss them w/ your daughter. She's only 4, so it may be hard for her to tell you how she's feeling. Also, it's hard for a teacher to observe many problems such as this, especially when he/she's in charge of an entire class.
If you can get your daughter to open up to you, that wld be great. Otherwise, you can try talking to the school councelor who may be of some help. Always keep the lines of communication open w/ the teacher. You can even try keeping a log of each day your daughter's at school. Maybe you'll uncover some things after writing them down and comparing your notes each wk.
I hope these suggestions help. It's hard to see your child struggle, but you're doing the right thing saying on top of the situation. Best of luck.

leraJubre's picture
leraJubre
You are not right.