12 and still wetting pants, HELP!
My step-son, DJ, came to live with us 9 months ago and he will be 12 in March. He has issues with wetting and soiling his pants on a daily basis. He has lived with his mother all of his life. When he was in 1st grade mom's fiance beat him with a board for wetting the bed and put the fear of god into him. The school at this time saw the bruises and contacted his mother as well as athorities. This fiance was locked up and lost custody of his own kids. DJ saw the schoold counsiler and outside help as well at this time. These "accidents" continued to happen. When he was in 3 or 4 grade his mother took him to the doctor to have him check out physically and there was nothing wrong. She took him back to a therapist and they found nothing wrong, they stated that this is not anything metal. At the end of 5th grade, his mother was having financial issues so he came to live with us. He was very happy cause he liked here with us. He has come along way since then. I took him to the doctor in October for his check up and told the doctor about these "accidents", and while i was in the room, the doctor asked him if he could feel it when he has to go. DJ told the doctor that he feels it, he just ignores it.(my thought that he was just lazy.) since then the poohing has almost stopped (a few "skid makrs" and that is about it but the peeing continues.Also if he goes to anyone elses hous, freinds, grandparents, moms etc. he has them constantly and they do not tell us, they help him hide it by washing the clothes he came in(no help). We have tried everything, making him go to the bathroom after breakfast and after dinner, paying for new underware out of his allowance, making him clean out the dirty undies in the toilet(dr suggested), taking away the things he loves the most. He seems like he dont care about it. Recently we have told him that he needs to give us a reason for this and that he really needs to work on fixing this. If he knows that he has to go then he needs to go!! Bottom line. My husband and i are at our witts end, and really dont know what to do anymore. He is going to Florida in April with his mothers parents, and i am afraid that he is going to come home with a suitcase full of nasty underware. I just need some suggestions. Please help.