metrogdor22's picture
metrogdor22

teen suicide:please help me

you probably think right now,that i am a parent,but you would be wrong.i am the teen in the subject.but i need help from people that will atleast respect me,and wont yell at me like everyone else.if you can help me,please keep reading.im 13,and i live in louisiana.we moved here about 6 years ago.ever since about 4 years ago(4th grade)my dad has become ,what was previously,upset,and irratible.constant yelling.treating me&my sister like we shouldnt exist.etc.i dont know what to do any more.i mean,i try to give him signs about how i feel about this,but he doesnt listen to me.he just thinks he's perfect,and everyone else is useless.but the thing that bothers me most,is when friends come over.he's a completely different person in public.its like hes the perfect dad to my friend's eyes.but then,when its just me,my mom,&sister,hes just horrible.and my mom works almost all day,and its worse when shes not around,and when my sister is gone,its even worse.i can tell that he just wants me out of his life.



acitez's picture
acitez

Because I protect myself from trouble, I don't e-mail people directly. I hope you will check back on this site.

It sounds like maybe your dad has a mental illness, which is not an excuse for him acting like this, but it may be the reason. If he had always acted like this, I would say he is just a jerk, which is also no excuse, but a reason.

Some people are jerks. And sometimes they are fathers, too.

It is good that you understand that the things your dad says are just him being horrible.

If you have already tried to talk to your mom about this, then here is a way that you might get your mom to pay attention. Ask a teacher to call your mom in for a conference. Tell the teacher what is going on so that your teacher can tell your mom to come without your dad. Maybe the teacher can arrange for the school counselor to be there, too. Then talk to your mom about how your dad is treating you when she is there AND when she is not there. Tell her what you want to have happen, and what you NEED to have happen.

Tell us how it goes. You are an articulate and wise person. We need you to grow up and do your part in this world.

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

The above is good advice and should be taken.

You are a worthwhile person and have a lot to offer.

My childhood was similar to yours. I went to my friends and teachers for validation. At the time the mistreatment seemed like it was going to go on forever and was very difficult to endure.

You just need to realize the fact that your father has issues. Seek out help for yourself and hang in there.

scoobydoodle's picture
scoobydoodle

Please talk to a teacher and/or a school counselor about your home situation. You may not realize it, but you are a beautiful person. You are a gift to this world (even though your family may not see it this way). Just look into your heart and you will see that you have the strength to move beyond this. Also, see if there is a teen line in your area, talk to clergy, etc...

tamz's picture
tamz

I never understood why my dad was so kind and fun to his nieces and friends that we brought around, but he was never nice to me. I was jealous of other kids when he would call them "peanut" and help them build a snowman ... things he NEVER said or did with me.

I never built a true relationship with him, ours was based on my respect and fear of him. He did not have a mental problem as far as I know, but he was a totally different guy around stragers.

I learned when I was older that he really did not know much about kids. He expected more maturity than we were capable of. He is civil to me now that I am grown, but childhood was hell at times. I also think that some parents, instead of building their children up, criticize kids hoping they will improve.

You are an amazing person! Just think about what your mind and body are capable of. You have so much to offer the world even if you don't know what that is right now.

I would say you should try to talk with your mom or a trusted friend. My dad never changed, but it helps to know that HE is the one with the problem. Your dad's behavior may effect you, but it's HIS issue.. Just remember you are good and valuable!

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

metrogdor2,
I hope you are reading all these replies. There are many people out there, good caring individuals, who understand what you're going through and who want to help. You are 13 yrs old. You have your whole life ahead of you. Please don't feel that b/c your father puts you down, that you are any less of a person. My father, too, was very hard on both my brother and I. I felt I cld never do anything right in his eyes. My mother, on the other hand, wld take a back seat to it all and try to be the peace maker. This instibility can cause a child to feel insecure and uncertain throughout their lives. Please seek counceling for yourself. Talk to your mom, and take the advice of others on this board. You do have so much to offer to this world. Please don't let anyone make you feel you don't. Whatever's going on w/ your father is his problem. He needs help for himself. Right now, though, focus on you, and get yourself help. Let friends support you through this also. Mostly, stay strong. Try to rise above all these negative feelings, and use them to make yourself a better person. One thing that helped me growing up was to become involved in as many activities as I cld at school and in my town. I was able to put my focus and energy into these things, which in turn was an outlet for me.
Please let us know how things go for you. You can do this. Please don't give up.

tamz's picture
tamz

Where are you at with things metro? How are you feeling? Do you have a plan to help you toward happiness??

MEANMOM's picture
MEANMOM

Now I understand you and your dad do not have a good relationship and there is alot of good advice being given here but the title of this is TEEN SUICIDE, HELP ME, ARE YOU WANTING TO COMMIT SUICIDE ARE YOU THINKIN ABOUT IT?? cuz as harsh as this may sound this issue needs to be addressed first before the issues with your dad, cus if you commit suicide there is no more life, this is serious talk to your counselor at school tell your mom how seriously you feel. My 14 yr old just took 5 Zoloft and we had to go to the ER she finally admitted dhe just wanted attention and I believe her because she would have taken all 30 if she really wanted to die not that 5 wasn't bad. She will think twice before she does that again cuz she had to drink charcoal black nasty drink to bottles of it. she was pukin alot. anyway very bad experience to go through when someone has problems that can be worked out with a counselor. Please get some help don't put yourself or your mom through what I have been through