Mayinx3's picture
Mayinx3

Teen Sexual Orientation

I am a single mom of three a teen boy 14, my daughter 13 and 11yr old youngest son. My 13yr old daughter came to me wanting to talk as always I was open to it since we do have great communication. She apparently feels or thinks she is now or might be bi-sexual. Now if this was the case I would love and support her no matter what althou it is not what I would want for her. My consern is that Im not sure if she is even old enough to know is she is. I have notices for some time now that this seems to be a new trend amungst girls her age. I cant even begin to tell how many girls she hast told me about that claim to be bi-sexual. These girls are calling eachother "bae" or "wifey" things of that nature. I dont want to say the wrong thing or make her feel unconfortable.

My first reaction to this "news" was that I believe she is to young to trully know. I made it clear that i would support her no matter what but the i do believe she is too young to know. One of the reasons I believe she is too young other than that fact that this seems to be a new trend. Is the fact that im not sure they even understand what dating is to begin with. As I stated before we have great communication and she talks alot to me about things happening in school. These kids are talking about "friends with benefits" when I asked her what that meant to her she stated "well mom that is the step before dating, where you hold hands and kiss but do not consider yourself dating".

Am I right? is she too young to know? should I go about it another way? Please help!



kiji's picture
kiji
No, she's not too young. That's never said to hetero teens, so why is she too young to know if she is attracted to more than one sex/gender? Let her identify as bisexual for now- she'll do it if you allow it or not. She might change or realise she's something else, but for now she says she's bisexual, so she is. Lay out the ground rules for dating, the same as for a straight teen. That's one of the only things that needs to be done here. And *please* don't tell her anything that might hurt her, such as: "It's just a phase, you'll grow out of it." What if she doesn't? "I don't believe you./I think you're lying." Accept it. It's not your life. "*Anything mentioning homosexuality in a bad light*." Telling her any of these things will damage your relationship with her. Please, if you are ever to take any advice you see on the internet, let it be this: support her, love her, and let her live her own life, even if you don't agree with/believe it.