Teen Girls and "Girl Drama"
My daughter is just finishing her sophomore year at a large public high school. When she started freshman year we were new to town and to public school. It has been a wonderful experience for her and she seems to have friends. It seems that each semester her close friends change and I'm guessing this is due to the fact that there are new classes and lunch periods, etc.. There have been two girls that have remained friends all along. They are in the same grade, but a few months older which means they have driven first, etc... They all have women's chorus first block. All of a sudden these two girls started having conversations and excluding my daughter. They would push by her and ignore her and walk to class together. They would sit in chorus with a group of girls and then all look up to where my daughter sits and laugh. I know things really bothered my daughter. I suggested that she talk to them indivually outside of school to see if she could figure out what was going on. The girls wouldn't answer her calls so she text one of them and asked them if she had done something wrong. The girl text back and said no, but she had really been stressed and busy. The other girl seemed to be closer with my daughter. We took her on vacation with us last year. She never answered my daughters texts. After several months of dealing with this behavior my daughter tried one more time to talk with them. She has to deal with chorus every morning and it is just unbearable. The first girl text her back and said that she really hadn't said or done anything, she was just tired or trying and didnt want her as a friend anymore. My child was so hurt. She has never dealt with situations like this before. The "mom" in me wants to talk to the girls parents (but I won't). I just want to "fix" things but I know I can't. What do I do as a parent? It seems childish of me to "take sides" and talk about them with my child. I've talked with the chorus teacher. She told me that she sees what is going on, but can't do anything about the situation. This week seemed to be the final straw as far as I'm concerned. My daughter has been dating a boy from the rival high school who is on the soccer team and been playing for a state championship. She goes to all of his games and Tuesday night the final game for a playoff berth went to overtime and finished very late. They won and the team celebrated by going out to the local mexican restaurant. My daughter was invited by her boyfriend to go and eat with the team. There were other girlfriends there as well. My daughter came home and said that the two girls were sitting outside the restaurant in their vehicle and they went up to one of the soccer guys when the team came out. I don't think they saw her. The next morning in chorus they were talking about eating with the rival soccer team, all the guys hitting on them, etc... just a bunch of lies according to my child who was there. My daughter's boyfriend told her that the girls told the guy to tell him he should break up with my daughter. This just seems crazy. Is it normal high school antics and we have just avoided it until now. How can I best suppport my child?