Hi All. I appreciated the kind words to my post of last fall. I wanted to get/gather more advice before tackling the current slate of issues with my 17 year old stepdaughter, so here goes:
1) She is a senior in high school, always a pretty good student, but has experienced senioritis and her grades have slipped. Not far, but she really doesn't seem to care, and recently confessed that the only reason she took AP classes in the first place is to be able to get a 4.0 grade for 3.0 work. She now does not want to take any AP tests in order to collect college credits for the classes she has taken. She wants to go to college, is accepted at one, but refuses to engage her real father with his (very real) committment to provide 1/2 of the funding for college. The 'real' father ignores my wife's pleas for communication and discussion of this key issue. What to do regarding that? Help!
2)She broke up with her 'sex-partner', only to start seeing his (now ex!) best friend, and start to have sex with the new guy. In fact, one morning not long ago, my wife and I woke up to the 'new' young man getting up from her bed, across the hall. That didn't play in Peoria. Now that 'new' relationship is on hold, while the 'old' relationship is rekindled, and the 'old' one is in the dark about the 'new' one still being in the picture. My stepdaughter simply does not understand the nature of her own actions/manipulations. Help!
3) My wife continues to be powerless regarding her daughter...well, essentially powerless, because she puts up a good argument and is firm, but generally, caves in to whatever it is her daughter 'needs'. This includes cosmetics, clothes, gas money, fees for school, etc. Her daugher (remember, my step-daughter) works and is supposed to (by written agreement) provide for the maintenance and repairs resulting from negligence to her car. She has been in two accidents/incidents where no other cars have been involved, which leads me to believe she just can't steer very well. I do not want to be an ogre here, but I truly believe that my step daughter entered into an agreement regarding this vehicle and should live up to every stitch of it. Just like a real adult. How should I proceed in enforcing this 'agreement' with both my step-daughter and my wife?
4) The rude attitude(s) and ugly demeanors have not abated, either to me or her mother. I have taken sound advice (thanks again to all who responded last fall) and have bitten my lip. I only speak when spoken to, or when asked to participate, and I really try to be friendly and show respect to my step-daughter. It is not reciprocated. Should I, at this point before she is off to college in the fall) demand behavioral change from my step-daughter?
5)This 'texting' thing is out of control! I know there is one of you who has a solution to this. My step-daughter used almost 6000 (yes, six thousand) minutes in one recent month, and is not inclined to stop using her phone for texting. Help!
Thanks in advance. Your advice, thoughts, and help is greatly appreciated.