tstexan's picture
tstexan

Sexual questions about my teen boy

I have a 13yr old boy that is VERY open with me. He told me that he thinks about being a girl when he goes to bed and in the morning he thinks why was i thinking about that. he looks at girls and makes comments and i am pretty sure he likes girls. he has liked this same girl for 2 years. i am wondering if this is normal? is it normal for boys to wonder what it is like for girls?



SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

I dont know if "normal" is the right word to use. What may be normal to one person, could seem abnormal to another. This may not be common, but I dont think it is anything to worry about. Since he is being open, it may be that he is trying to begin a conversation with you, but not sure how he wants to start it. I would ask what he means when he thinks about being a girl. It wouldnt alarm me if either of my sons made a similar comment.

tstexan's picture
tstexan

thank you so much for your response. it helps to hear what others think. have a blessed day.

austyns mom's picture
austyns mom

My 13 year old son just told me he thinks he's gay . I knew since he was 2 or 3 that he was going to be , I just knew and allways told him from 3 on that when he grows up and marries a girl or boy thats ok with me as long as he is with someone that makes him happy .My son has no friends , having add , delayed speach and no social skills do to poor self asteam he has allways been a sped program he is in 6th grade and has been in 7 different schools moving him every year where the program moves to he never got close with kids never had roots anywhere . He has me and thats about it . He is my hart and now that he told me he is gay my hart hurts for him that life isnt going to get any easyer for him . I let him know that im cool with it and I am but there is a pain in my chest and i told him I wont tell any one . what should i do or not do , I just want life to be easy for him , ok for him , safe for him .

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

Back in HS, the group of guys I hung out with were all wrestlers and football players, except for one guy. We all knew he was different, we all knew he was gay, but we really did not care. He was always a nice guy, funny to hang out with, and just down to earth. On top of being a good person, he was confident in himself. He could look anyone in the eye and carry a conversation with them. Yes it sounds like your son is in a rough sitaution but not an impossible one. You know him better than anyone, what are the things he likes to do? Are there groups for him to go to for the things he likes? Help him get out and be social. Building social skills will help him in most every area of his life. I have seen very shy kids take to drama and really come out of their shells. Others will hopefully have more suggestions.

austyns mom's picture
austyns mom

He doesn't try any thing new , he feels he is just setting himself up for failer so he just doesn't . He thinks noone would like him and he's afraid by being around kids they will notice he is different , it brakes my hart and just the thought of haveing feelings for a boy would be just that becouse it wouldn't be likely he would find someone at this age , how lonly is that .

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

It is very typical for a male to wonder what life is like for girls. Not so typical for a male to think about BEING a girl. Talk to your son about what he is specifically thinking about without making too big a deal about this. There is a big difference between your son possibly questioning his sexuality and thinking/wondering what girls go through as females.

Tay's picture
Tay

I dont think that's normal you might have to get your child checked on

junieg's picture
junieg

Don't know about 'normal', but even at the age of mid 50's I have pondered what it would be like to be a man. I am living very happily with my partner of the opposite sex, have no wish to have a same sex relationship, or indeed actually be a man. It's just a question of curiosity. The 'grass is greener on the other side' syndrome. Personally, I don't think life is easier for either sex, just different. We both have our strengths and weaknesses.
As for your son being gay Austyns mom, can you really tell at this age? Aren't we all curious about same sex relationships at this age? I am glad that you will be happy to accept the fact if he is gay though. I know it will complicate his life somewhat but he has you there for him and that will make a big difference. There is not much you can do apart from being there for him. I wish him a long and happy life.