Natalie123's picture
Natalie123

Questions for a class :)

Hello to all you parents :)  I am currently in an Adolescent
Psychology class and one of the assignments is to ask parents some
questions about how you handle raising your teenagers and what the
joys and hardships are.  It's a virtual activity assignment, so all
the questions must be asked and answered online.  If you could answer
any of the following or all of them if you want, I'd really appreciate
it.  And if you do answer some of the questions, could you also please
put the number of the question next to your response?  Thank you for
your answers and your time! :)

1.  What are the biggest joys, as well as challenges, in parenting
teens?
2.  What types of disputes do you experience with your teen?
3.  What coping mechanisms do you use to deal with these disputes?
4.  What are your feelings about your teen getting into steady
romantic relationships?
What guidelines or rules will you (or have you) established?
5.  What are your feelings about your teen and part-time work?
6.  What types of changes have your experienced as a result of
parenting a teen?
7. What are your feelings about the friends of your teens?
Do you have guidelines or expectancies that you share with your teen
regarding their friends?
8.  Do you feel that your teen respects your decisions?  Why or why
not?
9.  Do you feel that being a teen is more or less stressful than your
own teen experience?
10.  What words of advice would you give to an individual just
starting to parent a teen?

Thanks again!   -Natalie-



gail Hanson's picture
gail Hanson

1.  Biggest joys--seeing them become independant and competent

Biggest challenge--keeping my opinion to myself

2.  Few

3.  I expect to lose some arguments. 

4.  It hasn't been an issue.  My children seem to understand that romantic relationships complicate ambitions for education, travel, and service.

5.  As long as school performance and health don't suffer, a part-time job is fine.  They are expected to save most of the money they earn.  If they aren't doing that, then they have to pay for their own expenses, school, clothes, food at school, toiletries, gifts, auto insurance

6.  I've been doing this for 18 years, I don't remember how it changed when the oldest became a teen.

7.  I am present whenever friends are over, but I stay in the background.  I expect that they will clean up after themselves and be respectful of property and neighbors.

8.  Yes.  I don't make decisions for my teenagers, but the decisions I make for the family are not hard to implement

9.  I can't compare.  My own teen experience was in a dysfunctional family, and the family I've created is better, so for my teenagers, their teenage experience has been less stressful.

10.  You've got til they are 14 to teach them everything.  After that, they really have heard it a thousand times, so be quiet, and be a resource.  Don't sacrifice yourself to pander to their needs.  Let them develop self-reliance.

Lillie McAbee's picture
Lillie McAbee
1.  What are the biggest joys, as well as challenges, in parenting teens?  To me the biggest joy is seeing them become the person they will be and in that same vein the biggest challenge is allowing them to become that person.

2.  What types of disputes do you experience with your teen?

None with the oldest boy 17 yrs, but with my 14 yr old daughter she lies to us, she steals from us (little things like change, makeup, things she thinks her friends will like) she has a boyfriend even though we wish she wouldnt and tell her she is too young, she is mean to her younger siblings, she is constantly talking back, calling me names, telling the other kids how mean we are to her and how unfair we are, having fits, breaking things of her siblings when she gets mad, and she never takes responsibility for her actions. No problems with our 13 yr old girl Thank goodness. 3.  What coping mechanisms do you use to deal with these disputes? Coping mechanisms??? I just walk away usually because i would like to kick her out and know i cannot. I did take her mp3 away for stealing. I said since she stole from me and the item values $16.00 she had to give me that much before i returned her mp3. I do not have any patience for her any longer so I usually let my husband deal with her. 4.  What are your feelings about your teen getting into steady
romantic relationships? My husband and I both think she is too young to have a boyfriend. She does not make good choices usually so we worry. However we cannot moniter her every minute of the day and she is always telling her siblings how she just broke up with someone or is going out with someone else. What guidelines or rules will you (or have you) established? Our household rules are the same for everyone. Respect yourself and others, help out if you can, no violence, no dating till you are 16, if you want a car get a job when you are 16 and start saving now, try to be a decent human being. 5.  What are your feelings about your teen and part-time work? I dont think at this point she is ready for a job. She does want one but i think it would interfere with her schoolwork and i also think she would get tired of it after a few weeks. She is very much a follower and a friend of hers just got a job. Before that she had never even expressed any interest. 6.  What types of changes have your experienced as a result of
parenting a teen? Material things they need or want cost a lot more. 7. What are your feelings about the friends of your teens? Some of their friends I like and some I wish they wouldn't hang out with but they do have to make their own choices. All we can do is tell em what we think and hope they listen. Do you have guidelines or expectancies that you share with your teen
regarding their friends? Yes many 8.  Do you feel that your teen respects your decisions?   2 of them do but the 3rd does not respect anything.   Why or why not?   I dont know why she doesnt. If I knew then I could fix it.

9.  Do you feel that being a teen is more or less stressful than your
own teen experience? I think that it is about the same. Some things are harder and some things are easier. 10.  What words of advice would you give to an individual just
starting to parent a teen? Good luck! Talk to them like they are adults who need advice. If you talk to them as children they get angry but you cannot assume they are adults just because they think they are. Have lots of patience. Lead by example. Dont take any negative behavior as a personal failing if you have done your best. Always remember it will pass.

MEANMOM's picture
MEANMOM

1. SEEING MY DAUGHTER GROW INTO A BEAUTIFUL AND INDEPENDENT TEEN\
2. SHE WANTS TO COLOR HER HAIR PINK UNDER NEITH AND SHE TELLS ME "NO" WHENI TELL HER TO GO TO HER ROOM
3.SHE HAS NOT COLORED HER HAIR YET. IF SHE DOES I WILL CUT IT OUT OR DYE IT BACK TO ITS NATURAL COLOR. ABOUT NOT GOING TO HER ROOM I BOXED EVERYTHING UP EXCEPT HER CLOTHES HER BED, LAMP AND CLOCK AND SHE EARNS ONE BOX BACK A WEEK AND SHE SPEND ONE MORE DAY IN HER ROOM FOR EVERY TIME SHE SAYS NO
4.SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN LONGTERM YET JUST TALKING ON THE PHONE. WHEN THIS HAPPENS I WILL PUT HER ON BIRTH CONTROL WITH OR WITHOUT SEX, WITH SOME VERY STRICT RULES
5.MY TEEN VOLUNTEERS 3 HOURS 2 DAYS A WEEK AT A HOSPITAL AND WE BOTH LOOK FORWARD TO HER WORKING PART TIME LATER.
6.I HAVE HAD TO BECOME TOUGHER AND REALIZE SHE DOES NOT MEAN EVERYTHING SHE SAYS TO ME AND ME TRYING NOT TO BE OVERPROTECTIVE.
7.I LET HER PICK HER OWN FRIENDS AND THE ONES THAT I DON'T LIKE SHE IS ONLY ALLOWD TO HAVE THEM TO MY HOUSE WHERE I WATCH VERY CLOSELY.
8. YES AND NO SHE VALUES MY OPINIONS MOST OF THE TIME BUT ONLY WHEN SHE GETS OLDER WILL SHE UNDERSTAND AND APPRECIATE ALL OF MY OPINIONS.
9. MORE STRSSFULL BY FAR,THE DRUGS AND KIDS NOW TREAT SEX AS IF IT IS LIKE GOING TO THE MOVIES.
10. ENCOURAGE VOLUNTEERING EARLY ON.1 IT KEEPS THEM OUT OF TROUBLE AND 2. MAKES THEM APPRECIATE A PAY CHECK WHEN THEY GET ONE
CHECK TEXT MESSAGES SOMETIMES AND DON'T FREAK OUT JUST KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON.
BEFORE GETTIN BIRTH CONTROL MAKE THEM DO A REPORT ON 5 STD'S SYMPTOMS AND PICTURES AND CURES IF ANY

5.