Please help- Sophomore boy out of control
I am posting because I am very concerned about my 15 year-old (16 in December) brother. I am 26/F and live 3.5 hours away from my parents and brother.
First, he refuses to go to school. This has been a problem since 5th or 6th grade, but has progressively gotten worse. He has missed 10 or more days of school so far this year. He has never been a model student, but his grades have also gotten worse. He failed math freshman year because he flatly refused to turn in any homework assignments.
He is also violent. He has punched holes in the wall and put his hand through the window. My parents are afraid to ground him, take away his possessions, or try to make him go to counseling b/c he is so violent. My mother is afraid he will hit her and my dad doesn't want to "beat him" to make him do things.
I'm not sure about the extent of his drug use. I know he has smoked marijuana, but I am not sure how much he does it, and am not sure if he experiments with other drugs. He routinely tells my parents that drugs are good for you, and all types of ridiculous things. For example, the other night he told my mother that heroin is far better for you than McDonald's and that he knows people who take 5 percocets a day and there is nothing wrong with it. If they even casually disagree with anything he says he curses them out and/or throws things/gets violent.
He is so angry and manipulative and the littlest things set him into these violent tirades. I am concerned b/c sometimes it seems that he has no empathy and absolutely no ability (even compared to other 15 year olds) to rationalize. He refuses to take responsibility and will say that it is my mom's fault that he didn't go to school/lost his report card/whatever.
The mean things he says to my parents make my blood run cold, and my mom said that she gets somewhat "creeped out" by him sometimes. I think he has the ability to love and everything, but I am not sure how much of this is "normal" and what is not.
My parents are not disciplinarians. He has never been grounded or had anything taken away from him- EVER. I know they are upset by this and I know they care, but my father is somewhat aloof and my mother has an arsenal of excuses as to why it is impossible to correct his behavior. So for me, this is distressing in two ways- his behavior and my parents' (non) reaction to it.
I would really appreciate any suggestions, or if anyone knows any resources out there that would be helpful. I am just at a complete loss as to what to do and am very worried that he is going down the wrong path.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.