pointofnoreturn's picture

out of control 17-1/2 year old daughter

I have a 17-1/2 year old daughter that is getting out of control with her love life lately. She recently was to attend her homecoming dance this past weekend, and as always we ask to see their progress reports from school. The rule we have had all throughout their high school years is that if you can not keep your grades at a "c" or higher, you can not attend any dances, games, social activities etc... until the grades improve. My daughter had a "D" in one subject and a"F" in another subject, so... no dance, which was kind of sad since it was her senior year, but the rule is the rule. She then wanted to go over to his house and we again said no. She is now mad at us and has moved out of our house and in with one of her girlfriends and her mother's house. I recently went into her room and found a "Composition Book" in there. Thinking it might have been a book that she might have forgotten to take to school and the writing on the cover stated "Journal for High School", I opened it up and didn't recognize that it was a daily journal or what some people call a diary, but what I was reading made my jaw drop. (I know, I know, I shouldn't have kept reading (dummy dad))).
My daughter seems to be "bouncing" from boyfriend to boyfriend almost as fast as I change my socks( and I change socks daily) What scares me is that all the kissing and "making out" and the "I hope this relationship last longer that a week" I was reading. We haven't let her go out on to many dates, again due to her grades. So I was wondering where is all this kissing stuff taking place. We won't let her alone with another guy in our home. Although when she was at her cousins house, my brothers wife let her 22 year old nephew drive her home and he had sex with her. She only knew this guy for a very short two weeks and this guy was on leave from the navy. Does sexually transmitted disease ring a bell, especially from a guy like this. I wonder how many times this guy has had sex with a girl that is 5 years younger than he is. I am mad at my brother and his wife for letting it happen but according to his wife, "hey, what's the problem, it's gonna happen." I haven't talked to them in two to three months nor do I ever plan to. I'm trying to prevent my daughter from becoming the typical teen pregnancy that we have all read about and this happens, all due to my older brothers family. This same older brother got his girlfriend who now is his wife pregnant back when they were 19 and 23 before they were to get married.

acitez's picture

Buy her a big box of female condoms and dental dams and teach her how to use them. Make sure she has had the HPV vaccination. Get her accurate current information about STD transmission rates with and without condoms and dental dams and exactly what symptoms and consequences come from having each STD.

Teen pregnancy is not the worst thing that can happen to a sexually active 17 year old.

The bottom line is, we don't want our kids to die. Ever. From anything. Tell her that.

Your response to the situation with your nephew was good. And reading a diary? You are legally responsible for her behavior for about six more months. If she were an adult, it would have been wrong.

2xstepmom's picture

Good advice from acitez. Get her some male condoms also and put her on some kind of birth control. Planned Parenthood is a good resource.

As far as reading the diary, as long as she is living in your home, adult or not, it is YOUR home. My 25 y/o daughter lives with me and knows that as long as she is in my home she is expected to abide by the house rules. When your daughter moves out and is paying all her own bills, she will have all the privacy she wants. Until then, it is your house, your rules, and she will have consequences for her inappropriate choices.