out of contro; teen girl
Hi everyone I have a step-daughter that I love dearly. I have been in her life since she was almost 5 years old and her brother was 3. She is now 14 years old and totally out of control. When I met her father he was living with him parents because his ex-wife had wrote over 200 bad checks on their account and no one would rent to him until he cleared it all up. His parents at the start of our relationship would tell him when and where he could take his children who they could be around and who they couldn't. Nine months into our relationship I asked him and the two children to move in with me and my two boys. He accepted and we choose a town just under an hour from his parents to put some distance between his children and them. By the time they moved in with us it was all he could do to control them at that time because grandma and grandpa said that it didn't matter what dad said they had all the say. He had and has always had full custody of his children his ex-wife has limited vistation. It took about eight months living with us and many hair pulling days later that they started to follow our rules and expectations. Then we both lost our state jobs due to cuts and we lost our home because of it. His decision was to send his two children back to his parents to stay while we looked for jobs and a new home. His mom and dad had we thought finally got the message that he was the parent not them but boy were we wrong. Not long after they moved back to the grandparents all the drama started again. We would go to pick them up on Friday night so that we could have them for the weekend and his daughter not his son would start my grandparents say ur a pos and I don't have to listen to you and if I go with you then its what I say not you. Needless to say we moved them back in full time with us that weekend we had planned to move them back in when school let out for the summer in a month but decided that it was for the best to do it then. His ex-wife whom we had not heard from in almost 6 years then decided to make herself known again and along with the grandparents started his daughter on the your not my boss I tell you what to do not the other way around if you don't like send me to my mom or grandparents. I have two other sons and now have two children with my husband her dad. We have had in the last year to deal with her running away having sex when she goes to her mothers and grandparents and her mother allowing her to do so in her home and incouring it. Now this past weekend we had our third pregnancy scare since July. I was told that we were preventing her dream of becoming a teen mom like her mother and 15 year old half sister. She lashes out at school striking teachers and running away. She has called dcfs twice now and made up outragous lies that she has been caught on and is now looking at being in trouble for harrassment of the system. We have taken away her facebook and the cell phone that the boyfriend gave her and is paying for. Now accourding to her, the grandparent, the mother and the boyfriend we are in the wrong and we are isolating her from her world. My husband does not believe that the world her's or ours needs facebook. We have found her sending grafic sexual messages from her email on facebook. Yes we check her email sorry if someones doesn't like it but at 13 our rules. Now we may face a legal battle with his ex for custody of the daughter because we are to strict and hard on her and should allow her to have sex and run the streets. We don't allow either we drop her off at friends house and thats where she expected to stay for the alotted amount of time then we pick her up. We check at diffrent times by calling land lines to check to make sure she not out running the streets if they don't have a land line she's not allowed to go. I know it seems outragous but we can't handle the pregnacy scares anymore. 13 is not ready for a baby and in the end it would be us caring for the child because she changes her mind every 15 mins and the baby would be cute for only x amount of time. We have five other children ages 13 to 6 months and where we would never turn her or a baby out we just don't know how we would finaclly handle it. We don't believe in abortion or adoption any advice on this messed up situation.