Obsessed with Daughters Relationship
I have a beautiful 15 year old daughter (almost 16) who is very independent and the total opposite of me when it comes to self confidence. She is very sure of herself and doesn't seem to have a problem telling people exactly what she thinks.
At the end of the school year she met a young man (16) with whom she began a relationship immediately. She was going away for the summer but spent every waking minute with him until she left. The day we put her on the bus to camp, it was devastating for me and later found out was for him as well. He came back to our house and sat and cried because he was going to miss her so much.
During the summer, I went to visit my daughter and took him with me. We got along very well and developed a healthy adult/teen relationship. He was from a single family and didn't have much in life. Since we are fairly wealthy, I didnt seem to think that it would hurt to provide for him while he was with our family. He would go on weekend trips with us, spend most of his free time at our house and cottage as well.
During the time that they dated, he respected her fully. I could tell he was very much in love with her but to this day don't really know how she felt about him.
Suddenly out of nowhere this past February she broke up with him. She seemed confident that this was what she wanted to do but I was devastated. It has been almost two months and she will barely speak to him let alone look at him.
I became very close to this child and treated him as one of my own and this breakup has devastated me. I have tried searching on the web to see if anyone else has run into the same problem as I have. I am depressed, often cry and just seem to feel like I have lost a child.
I try so hard to convince her to give him another chance but she won't. She says she does not like him anymore and has no interest in dating him again.
The whole time they were together nothing took place other than a kiss goodnight or a peck or two when they were joking around. They told each other they loved one another every day and seemed to mean it.
He was devastated when they broke up and tried a few times to get a second chance but she said no way so he gave up.
He has since moved on, not with another girl, but has made it quite clear that he wants nothing to do with her anymore either but I am obsessed with trying to get them back together.
Its gotten so bad that I sign onto her msn and speak to him as if I'm her just to try and patch things up in hopes that one day they will get back together. I know this is crazy but I am so obsessed with trying to get them back together than it is ruining my life.
I can't sleep, am severely depressed and have even gone to see a psychiatrist but have never told him the truth behind my depression. I have suffered from it in the past and was on medication in the past but had not taken it until again until this happened. I now am taking anti-depressants which don't work and need sleeping pills just to go to bed so my mind won't race.
I think I'm going crazy and need advice on what to do about this. Please don't think that I am in love with this child as it is nothing like that. I just felt I could make a large impact in his life and was so happy to see someone who actually appreciated the things that others take for granted.
No one knows how I feel but I'm ready to explode. I often feel like I would like to just run away or go for some intense brain therapy if there is something like that to get this obsession out of my head.
Has anyone else been in this predicament before, and if so, could you please tell me if this is going to go away or how you dealt with it.
Thanks so much!