Need advice on how teen daughters talk to me at times.
Hello! I am the mother of two teenage daughters, ages 13 and 15 1/2. They are essentially wonderful and very smart girls. Both are straight-A students, both are in National Honor Society, and both are making good choices so far in most things that they do. Here's my problem.....do you ever feel as a parent that your teens talk to you like you are a mere annoyance or nuisance to their lives? Do your teens get borderline nasty and ridiculous tones in their voices and use these tones so much that it hurts your feelings as a parent? This is how I feel a lot of the time. I go out of my way for my kids and I'm always here for them. Why they like to be mean and nasty with things they say or the way they say them is beyond me. I feel like nothing I choose to do, even things for myself, are ever "accepted" by my daughters. For instance, I added photos of one of our dogs onto my Facebook account today and my older daughter informed me that doing this is "so lame and stupid." She then said "that's craziness, mom, like just weird and dumb." Why is that weird and dumb? I mean...really?
Then not but 2 minutes later, my 13 year old and a friend are looking to do a Scavenger Hunt and want our 15 year old to create a list so they can do the hunt outside. My 15 year-old spells "Scavenger Hunt" completely wrong so I looked at the paper and gently brought it to her attention and told her what she mis-spelled. Her response was..."Geeez Mom, like so what. Nobody cares how I spell and nobody will. I don't care so just move on." I turned around and said that a straight-A student should care about spelling things correctly and certainly when she's older, people will assume she's inept if she can't spell things the right way. She rolled her eyes, refused to change it, and then left the room. I wanted to put a size 7 shoe right up her rear at that moment! This same daughter also took a very beautiful picture of myself off the wall in our den and started criticizing it to death just before her boyfriend was coming over to our house to watch a movie with her. This really got under my skin because the picture is 100% gorgeous and it almost came across to me as her being jealous of it. I know that seems weird but if you were here, you would have picked up on that feeling too. Needless to say, I ignored her rant and put the picture right back on the wall where it has always been. Sorry....but I'm not getting voted off the wall for a 15 year old meltdown that I thought was nasty and very random!
Am I being too sensitive to what my kids say and do? How do you all handle this from your own teens or am I all alone in this wonderful and frustrating position? What should I do when these girls act nasty, ridiculous, and downright mean at times? How do I respond to nastiness when it revolves around something that I chose to do and that I don't feel is anywhere near weird or stupid? I certainly don't deserve to be spoken to this way....or I don't think I do. Any ideas how to cut them off from thinking that they can say stuff like this and have the lesson be tactful and productive? HELP!!!!