suzie87's picture
suzie87

my teen daughter is seeing an older man, help!!! advice

My teen daughter recently turn 17 about a month a ago, and two days ago she finally came clean that she's dating a 25 year old for almost year. In 4 months it will be a year. And as a parent I want what's best for her,I'm scare he will hurt her but she tells me he's a good guy and he's not like that. I'm worried because she's my baby and she's still young. I told her she can continue ing to him but she can't see him .she hasn't got out of bed in two days, haven't eaten anything, all she does is sleep and cry. I've been a single mom for almost 10 years, I raised her by myself and it seems like she won't listen anymore.it makes me sad she chose to see a 25 year old but I don't know what else to say, do I still let her see him? As an Asian parent I grew up with strict parents and I'm very strict but what do I do about it, I want her to date a guy whos in school and has an education. Am I doing something wrong? My oldest daughter i ls a year older than her and she hates if but my youngest don't ever even talk to her sister, she hates her and they fight everyday and sometime involves physical fight too. I told her to just find someone better and she refuse too. And i ban her from seeing him,I want her to learn first but is that a right thing to do is not let her see him occasionally?



babyCamdens's picture
babyCamdens
Okay you need to meet the guy. Have you met the guy yet? I tell you what, I am 25 years old and so is my husband and my husband has 19 and 20 year old freinds and I will tell you from experience being around all of them the 25 year old guy is the most maturist and the least likely to hurt her. I'm sorry but from the way my husbands friends talk about women behind their back and then act around them like they are so sweet when they are around, I would say the 25 year old guy is better than a 19 or 20 year old. Young guys still think about sex all the time and a 25 year old is more likley to respect your daughter and stay and own up to his responsibilities if she gets pregnant. I think it's fine...actually I think it may be great. Of course I would meet him right away.
suzie87's picture
suzie87
But if they end up having sex its statutory rape????I dont want her to get hurt, how do I know my daughter can trust this this guy when he goes out to bars and clubs? And she's at home crying. I don't want that happening, that's the disadvantage he's over 25 he's a grown him and my daughter cant control what he does. She can't go out with him and I'm not saying I want her too but I don't want to see her hurt, she's practically in love with him.
babyCamdens's picture
babyCamdens
Ya staturtory rape, sorry forgot about that, in Kentucky the legal age is 16. I understand what you are talking about now. He's going out to bars and clubs then that's a problem. She should have a talk with him about that. Another thing, remind her that there are alot of fish in the sea and if your decission is to discontinue the relationship then she isn't doomed and will find another man out there. Or you can tell her that if he really loves her he will wait until she is 18 and wait for the bars and clubs until she is old enough.
suzie87's picture
suzie87
I just had a handful of my youngest daughter, she's defiantly not the daughter i intentionally had in mind; still she's a gift from god. I just dont want her hurt. She's to young to love and her path to life is a long way. I just dont want her wasting her time. And I would not like to meet the person she's dating. She told me he hasnt drink liquor since his birthday and their birthday is 5 days apart! They met on 11//11/11 so it will be almost a year soon. My question why would a 25 year old want to be with a 17 teen still in high school with no job?
junieg's picture
junieg
Age isn't the concern here, it's maturity. Age is just a number and you wouldn't mind if she was 27 and he 35, would you? first you have to find out how mature and responsible he is and if you meet him, you would perhaps be able to judge this. Watch their body language and see how he treats her. I think that, for your daughter's sake, you have to let him prove himself to you. Please give him a chance at least. You never know, you might get to really like him.