My Daughter treats me as if she can't stand me!
I am new to this forum. Actually kind of embarrassed to the fact that i am on here. I have 2 teenagers. A soon to be 16 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. I have been married for 15 years (in May). In keeping this short as possible-my daughter just flat out talks to me like I am an idiot! She has for about 4 years now. My wife has talked to me in this manner in the past and I always just blew it off with the occasional "What the hell?" comment about taling to me this way. Well, the past couple of months have been horrible. If i ask my daughter anything about anything or try to spark a conversation she will snarl at me or give me a dirty look most times. I can't take it! Last night-(during a sit down at the table meal) I asked her if her friend had any easier time getting home than he did coming over to our place, since he is un-familiar with where we live. I was just trying to have a conversation with her. Her response was; "obviously not!" My wife and i looked at each other with wide eyes.....then i went off. When I said something about her response, she said she didn't mean to say it that way and then changed it to she wasn't condescending when she responded. The bottom line is, she always treats me this way. She makes me feel like she is un'approachable. I have always tried to be involved and encourage her. I have done nothing to get treated this way. I feel she is spoiled and seeing how i have let it go for so long she thinks she can get away with it. Any suggestions on this matter? My wife tells me I am too nice! This is my daughter! Why wouldn't I want to be nice to her? However, when she treats me this way i just can't any longer. I have always let it slide because she is a female and she may be having hormone issues to contend with, but I don't see her treat anyone else this way. One other small concern regarding my son. He is an exceptional athlete, but shows very little interest in sports. He has played all, but has settled with basketball. I played basketball in college and coach the Jr. High level. I try to leave him alone and encourage him to be an individual, but sometimes i feel if i did not give him a nudge he would become a vegetable and do nothing if i would let him. He needs to play because he is good and he needs to be accountable on a team. Should i just leave him alone and encourage him or just simply let him go? I am a 38 year old that now has quite a bit a gray hair! These teenage years are brutal! There is no book on this stuff and i am not a perfect parent, but i try and definitely care. Could this actually be my problem? That I try to hard or care too much (at least outwardly showing it)? Any input is welcome. Thanks.