First, in order to be able to fully protect your daughters, you need to find alternate care for them both whenever you and your husband are going to be out of the home. Your older daughter should not be responsible for the situation when you are unable to be there. Your stepson should never be alone with either of your girls again.

Second, you are doing the right thing by getting your daughter into therapy immediately. She will be affected by what your stepson has done and needs to be supported and reassured it is not her fault in any way. Some victims of abuse feel guilty they did not tell sooner.

I have personal experience with a similar situation. 17 years ago my then nearly 16 y/o stepdaughter accused my just turned 15 y/o son of touching her inappropriately. She recanted after months of therapy but it put our family through the same hell you are going through. She was never allowed to be alone with any of the other children again and after a few months left and returned to her mother. The damage was done and my husband went through what you describe your husband is going through. Sadly, we ended up divorced because he had to make the difficult decision to leave along with his other 2 daughters because their mother was too mentally ill to care for his older daughter any longer. I had no trust for his daughters (the other 2 had sided with their sister) even after my stepdaughter recanted her accusations. I felt if she were allowed back in the home she would possibly do it, or worse, again. It turned out I was right as she later accused her aunt by marriage and a step-cousin of the same thing.

Situations like this can and do tear blended families apart. Your husband is feeling guilty for what happened to your daughter and possibly partly responsible for his son's actions. He is probably terrified of losing you and helpless to fix what has happened. He also needs therapy which would benefit your entire family.

Okay, I can tell you from first hand knowledge. Something similar happened to my sister who had 3 stepsons who lived with them and her 6 little girls. HE WILL DO IT AGAIN. You can't wait for "If you do it again, I will call 911" He needs to be reported, he needs to be held accountable, and he needs to be removed from the home immediately.

If you don't do it, he will keep doing it, he will never respect you, he will not take responsibility for it, and his behaviors will get worse.

he is much older than his little sister, this is pedophelia, he has mental issues and he is a sexual deviant. That is the fact. Your daughter isn't a puppy, she deserves to be safe and secure and receive restitution for what he did to her. She needs to see that if someone does something bad to her, they will be punished and will be held accountable.

I don't mean to be harsh -- I totally understand what you are going through. But my sister let her step son get away with it, and tried to 'watch' him and make sure it didn't happen again. She ended up divorcing her husband because she resented him for not kicking his son out of the house and protecting the girls, and it was terrible.
And he did do it again, and again, and again.

There are no 'second chances' when someone does something like that to an 11 y/o girl. There is no room for a 2nd chance. You have to take action and protect your daughter. That boy should never live with you again while your daughters are there.

I wish you the best of luck - and I'm sorry that you are going through this.

In the old days your son would have been taken out back and beaten bloody. We can't do that now ... so you have to legally hold him responsible. Do it now before he gets charged as an adult. And worse yet, if he does something again and something worse, you could lose all your children to the state for not reporting him and properly protecting them.