my 16 year old step son exposed himself to my 11 year old daughter
I need some advice as to what to do in my situation. My 11 year old daughter came to me yesterday and told me she needed to talk, but didn't know how to say it. I told her to just spit it out and she could tell me anything. (I’ve always told my kids no matter what the situation may be, they can come to me with anything.) So she begins to tell me that her 16 year old step brother showed her his penis. I cried and hugged her and told her I was very sorry! (THANK GOD SHE TOLD ME WHEN SHE DID, WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD'VE HAPPENED NEXT!!!!) I almost flew up off the bed without asking questions or getting his side of the story and wanted to go downstairs to rip his head off his frickin' shoulders or calling the cops and having his ass locked up! I asked her if that's what she wanted me to do and she said no. (I was very close to doing it anyways.) So, instead, I sat here on my bed with her and asked her everything I could think of.....from the first time it happened to the last time, how many times, (too many to count), did he touch her inappropriately, did he ask her to do anything, what he said when he showed her....I drilled her with questions. Instead I called my parents. (I had to lock myself in my bedroom or I WOULD'VE ended up in jail.) I told her I had to wait for dad to get home before I could do anything. So I talked to my husband when he got home and we confronted him immediately. He hesitated, denied it, then I gave him a look as to I already knew the truth. He then admitted it. So we questioned him for several hours and didn't get any real answers as to why it happened. He DID say he knew it was wrong, felt guilty, was sorry for the whole thing, etc. We told him, he knows he's got a problem, he's GOT TO get help, etc. FIRST AND FOREMOST, I DON‘T KNOW WHAT THIS HAS DONE TO MY DAUGHTER, SO I‘M SEEKING HELP FOR HER!! (I also told him it wasn't a threat, it was a PROMISE, if it ever happened again or went any further, I’d dial 3 #'s on the phone and that would be the end of it. I‘m not going to have that [filtered word] in my house around my kids!) So, now I’m faced with will I EVER be able to trust him again? My husband leaves for work at 4:30am and I leave at 6:15am. I told him from now on, when it's time to leave for school, he has to leave at the same time my other daughter leaves. (and I know what you're thinking, yes, I asked her if he's ever done that to her and the answer is no, thank God! She's too vocal, would have knocked the living [filtered word] out of him and then told us!) Anyhow, my 11 year old HAS been here alone with him in the mornings for about 10-15 min's after my oldest leaves. Well, that [filtered word] isn't going to happen again. I told him, she will NOT be left alone with him at any point and time. The story goes on but now I’m faced with my husband saying he has nothing to live for, feels he went wrong raising him, he’s talking about taking his own life, even mentioned getting a divorce because I’ll never feel the same about my step son, etc. I’m torn right now and need some advice from the outside. WHAT THE HELL SHOULD I DO???