Tee97's picture
Tee97

Losing my girl :(

Hi everyone. I am new to this forum and am really hoping for advice that I have not heard before!
I have 3 teen daughters ranging in age from 13-16. We have a blended family, and the girls are with us full time and get along like sisters...the good and the bad :) Considering the circumstances, we are very lucky and in general, life is good. Recently, my 15yr old has discovered the attention from boys. One says she is pretty and thats it...she is obsessed. Let me back up a bit and state she is a good kid, has been on honor roll and manages a job and sports. Recently (since Sept) she is not focusing so well on school work, doesnt seem to have the respect and kindness she once had for her teachers. We have rules in our home....no cell phones when doing homework, we keep the cells in our room when we go to bed. Where she once listened and took my advice, now I know NOTHING. I know this is all normal stuff, but I am scared I am starting to lose her. What can I do? How can I talk to her about the importance of school and respect. She wants to go to University following high school, but I dont think she gets how important her grades are right. How do I keep her on the right path? How do I talk to her without getting upset and getting my message across her teenage brain!



Empowering Parents's picture
Empowering Parents
One of the most painful and frustrating things for parents is watching their teens make choices they are not comfortable with. I think it’s great that you do not allow your daughter to use her cell phone while doing homework. Does the same go for computer and/or IPAD use (if she has them)? It is also helpful to create a regularly scheduled homework time, and a place in the home where she can complete her homework away from distractions where you can see her (bedrooms are often too much of a distraction). I would also suggest that she not have privileges until after she shows you her list of assignments and completed homework each day. You can talk to her about these new expectations, and that they can be temporary as long as she is able to keep her grades up for a specific period of time. I hope this helps!
heykevin's picture
heykevin
i can understand what u r saying but try to convince them the bad part of this kind of relationship tell them some examples remember they are at there teen stage at this stage they don't want to listen good things....best of luck
chjmk's picture
chjmk
It's so difficult to do the work of parenting and plow thru a difficult patch without our emotions getting the best of us. Further complicating it is what worked for our oldest doesn't work on the next one. It makes us feel constantly inexperienced! What you sense is that she's a good kid, who needs a little tying down and firm guidance. I don't sense you being unwilling to do it, but you are afraid of the effects. But keep giving her the parenting she needs even if it is not easy on you. Keep the big picture of raising a responsible, productive adult in mind. In our house, school was their job and ticket for driving. All A's and B's was a free ride. C's and they had to chip in. D's and F's no driving period. At 15, it should be the ticket for freedom and activities. Homework always first. And take her on your older kid's college visits. Keep the future in the forefront because you know teens really do not think of the future.