Mommy_of_4's picture
Mommy_of_4

I feel like I'm losing my daughter

My 14 year old daughter has new friends that are involved in a serious amount of drugs. She has confided in me they all smoke pot, drink and have sex. The boys she hangs around are completely disrespectful and crude while I'm on the phone with her. I have had my issues over the last several years, dealing with depression, alcoholism and attempted suicide on my end and think this had a severe negative effect on her.
She recently refused to allow me to pick her up from a friends house and stayed the night without my permission. I want to trust her, but with the crowd she is hanging out with makes me feel she is going to try drugs or drinking. She belittles me and tells me Im crazy and all her friends think so too. She says I was always there for her but now all of a sudden I want to be a mom. I'm lost and don't know were to go from here.



mayamay's picture
mayamay

Please be warned that we have a contributor who is probably going to point out that everything is your fault. Give the rest of us a little time to provide you some helpful feedback.

mayamay's picture
mayamay

Probably the first thing I would do is contact the parents at the house where she stayed overnight w/o permission. Enlist their help in rebuilding an appropriate parental relationship with your daughter. You have a lot of rebuilding to do, and it would be wonderful to have their help. Of course, you don't know what kind of parents they are, so it may not be helpful. Still, have the conversation.

Mommy_of_4's picture
Mommy_of_4

I did go to the mothers house last night to talk to her and help finding her, although she was not cooperative. I know her daughter smoke marijuana in her bedroom which tells me it's not a good home environment...

jimrich's picture
jimrich

http://forums.familyeducation.com/discuss/raising-teens/friendly-reminder

We have a wonderful forum here so let's keep it that way! ~ Host Marti

jimrich's picture
jimrich

see previous post

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

Jim tell us how you applied the sam advice to raising your children. You always revert back to your parents and you as a child, but dont give us the "If they had only done this", tell us what you did in your parenting.

mayamay's picture
mayamay

In one of his posts, jim stated that he is not a parent. Question for you, Jim. Do you believe that your parents sought input from others (extended family, friends, clergy, school counselors) about what to do about the problems in your family?

RSVP?

mayamay's picture
mayamay

The parents who are seeking information on this forum are the parents you wish you had. Don't be so mean to them. And it's just annoying, as you probably know, to be repeatedly directed to do something that you are already doing.

Every correction SnglDad offers you is seen by you as an attack. That is not about him, that is about you. He is not patient, nor is he always tactful, but neither is he mean.

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

Mayamay, thanks.....I think. LOL

mayamay's picture
mayamay

Yeah, that was me being tactful.