concernedbigsis's picture

How to confront

I'm not a parent but a concerned older sister and I figured this is relevant enough to post here.

I have a younger brother who is 15 (about to turn 16). My mom and brother have the same cell phone and about a year ago my mom opened his by accident and found text and picture messages alluding to using alcohol, weed and chewing tobacco. The issue was dealt with and we've moved on.

Being the older sister, I have still been suspicious/concerned that he's mixed up with this stuff. I just went through his text messages while he wasn't home and found that he is still using chewing tobacco. Granted it could be a lot worse, but it still bothers me.

Is there a way to confront him in a passive aggressive way without admitted I went through his phone? I found this website I want him to see with facts and pictures about what can happen from using chewing tobacco but I don't know how to go about it.

Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated!

acitez's picture

If he gets regular dental exams, call his dentist, have the actual dentist call you back, and tell the dentist about your concerns. Your dentist can present the information about oral cancer as if it were routine.

2xstepmom's picture

Do not confront, simply give the information. You could say you love and care about him and want to share the info so he can be healthy and make good choices for his life. He may not choose to stop this unhealthy habit now or even appreciate your intervention but at some point he may. You are being a good sister by looking out for him and his wellbeing.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

I wld tell your parents and have them confront your brother. I think it's their reponsibility to do this. It's nice to see you're such a concerned sister, and if I were in your situation, I wld feel the same way. Personally speaking, since this a health issue, I wldn't tiptoe around the subject. Your brother needs to know the severity of his actions. To be honest, he probably already does, but I'd bet he has that "it will never happen to me attitude". When I first got my license, I hardly ever wore my seatbelt. Then one day, driving along the highway, I witnessed a horrible accident. Since then, I've never driven w/out a seatbelt. Your brother needs a wake up call to scare him. Show him pictures, research the long term effects, whatever it takes. Just don't tiptoe around him til the damage is done.