HELP...Daughters Boyfriend's mother is a Whacko!
I really need some sound advice or some objective commentary if you have the time. I have a 16 year old daughter that has a boyfriend since last April. My daughter is a straight-A student, belongs to National Honor Society, and she's also a working model....drop dead gorgeous. This is a teen who pretty much has it all inside and out. Her boyfriend is also 16, they go to the same High School, and he is also a good student. So, what's my issue? What do you do when your daughter's boyfriend has a mother that seems completely insane? I mean a real whack-job. This lady is just unreal. She is a single mother with the exception that she's on her third marriage to some guy from the Czech Republic that I have never seen and he does not live with her. I think this was a "green card" marriage but I can't be sure. Weird. Then, after meeting this lady one time, she thinks she's my best friend and keeps calling my house and leaving voice mail messages on my phone that are 20 minute long conversations. She also sounds either drunk or three sheets to the wind when she does this! She told me that her son's father is gay so she ended their marriage and left him. The boy's father is not in the picture because of this. Then she also told me she was a cocaine addict before her son was born and that she has Multiple Sclerosis now and can't work. She collects disability and I recently found out she takes the drug methadone. Isn't that for drug users to prevent withdrawals??? I am simply at my wits end with the weirdness. Her son is completely against drugs, drinking, smoking, and won't even take a Tylenol for a headache if he has one. He has told my daughter that he takes liquor bottles from his mother and pours them out down the sink and that his dad is NOT gay. He said his mother is a liar.
Recently, her son and my daughter watched a movie at our house over the weekend. These two are never left unsupervised by a parent. When the movie was over, I offered to drive the boy home (about a minute up the street)and he said that he would walk home and that his mom was waiting for him. The next day, I get a call from the mother and she was livid about how I let her son walk home at night and that he was told that she was coming to pick him up at our house. Not once did the boy tell me this or let me know that his mother never wants him walking home...I have to drive him. The mother told me it's because she was raped when she was 17 while walking home and that her son could be killed, taken, shot at, etc. I have to tell you that I was a bit stunned here. First of all, we do not live in the slums over here by any means. The boy literally lives up the street and he's 16 years old. Secondly, this happened to her in Brooklyn, NYC in 1978 and it's the first I heard of it. I'm not even sure this is true. I told her that her son said he was going to walk home because she was waiting up for him. I didn't question it because I didn't think I had a reason to. Turns out, her son lied to me and did not tell me that his mother was supposed to pick him up. I got screamed at one minute by the crazy mother and in the next breath, she's asking me how to discipline her son because he's disrespectful, has anger issues, tries to shove her, and throws things when he's disciplined. I nearly fell over when she told me this!!! My daughter is dating this guy???? Who is this person???
I have never seen any of this behavior in the months that my daughter has dated this boy. He is kind, adores my daughter, he's respectful, and he does treat her very well. They have never had a fight or disagreement since they met. Could this kid be a Jekyll and Hyde or what am I supposed to think? The mother is completely nuts....but to tell me all this stuff about herself and her son? Who does this?
Right now, I am really upset about all this stuff I am hearing and about how weird and wacky this boy's mother is. What should I do? I told my daughter that if he ever lays a hand on her in a violent way or out of anger, her father and I will not let that go and it is never okay for that to happen...EVER!! She understood this but assures me that he has never even done anything like that. Quite the opposite from what we see and what she tells us. What would you do if you were me? I need some solid advice!! I am completely confused!!