HELP!! NEED ADVICE PLEASE about my 13 year old girl
My daughter is 13 now. Her father and I have been seperated for 10 years. About a year ago I found out that when she was 8 yrs old, her father had done some inappropriate things to her during his visit with her. She had confessed it to her teen cousin during a truth or dare game. Naturally, her cousin had to tell what she heard. My daughter didnt seem to think it was that serious. But hearing about similar experiences from other people, they hated the person for doing it to them. weather it be thier dad, uncle, brother, etc..... But she was okay with it until she was told that it was a bad, wrong, and hurtful thing. We tried to open a case against him with child protection and the police, but there was insufficient evidence. It had been too long ago for her to remember important details about the incident. So nothing came of it. My daughter was devastated that she was cut off from all contact from her dad after I discovered what had happened. She is traumatized, because I cut her off, nightmares etc.. For almost a year she was getting more emtionally unstable over it. I got her into counseling, that helped but it wasnt until I agreed she could talk to her brother and her dad on the phone with me right there, that she finally seemed to settle down and relax. Why is it that her father did these horrible things to her and she's not even afraid of him, or angry with him? She was more traumatized by the fact that she couldnt see him or talk to him as a result of what he did, then what he actually did? As a matter fact, she wasnt traumatized at all by his actions. Is this normal? She said that he didnt hurt her, or force her to do anything. He showed inappropriate body parts to her and she touched him out of curiosity, and when she got uncomfortable he stopped and never did it again. This makes me sick to my stomach!! This is a sick, sick man. Why does she want to have a normal relationship with him like nothing happened? She wants to forget it ever happened, and she never wants it brought up to her dad. Is this normal behavior for circumstances like this? She is 13 years old now and she is showing deep resentment towards me because I wont let her go and see her little brother and her grandma and her dad for a few days. She's acting as if Im the bad person here. I was told by a social worker during the investigation that men like this have a preffered age bracket. now that My daughter is old enough to stand up for herself and she knows right from wrong, Should I let her see her little brother and grandma even though her dad is there? Since the police and social services threw out the case, in her eyes, I am the only person keeping her from her family. It has been 5 years since the incident. what do I do?!!!
I am stressed and a wreck over this.