ajnickerson's picture

Help with my step teen daughter

I really need help because i am too the point where i could blow my top. My step daughter is all into her self, she expects everyone to do for her and if i want a favor and ask her for one she blows up and goes on her (nobody loves me and i only see my father so and so and u are trying to take that away from me) I just didn't even bother.. i just said never mind and forget about it, but what have i should have said. She is so sassy and don't care about anyone else except herself. Even her mother agrees with me, it is bad when she don't get along with her mother, so she is living 2 weeks with us and 2 with her grandmother, because she can't stand to be around her monther.. If i talked to my mother the way she talks to hers, i would have got a smack in the mouth, (not really but u know what i mean) I have more respect.. Now a days the kids have no respect but they expect us to do anything for them and take them here and pick them up when ever they snap there fingers. oh and give them money when every they need it.. Not me. I was raised alittle bit different and i am not going to take it from a 15 year old telling me what to do and when to do it.. is that bad?? My husband don't say anything because he thinks that if he says somthing bad, she will hate him.. they were fighting about something, and i just said something and she looked at me and said in her teenage tone I WASN"T TALKING TO YOU
I fliped i was so up set that i was shacking.I didn't say anything i just got up and went in the bedroom.. My husband did take up for me and she stormed out telling him to kiss her A**. SO i asked her for a favor and she went blastic, so i am upset. i have decided that when she comes to stay with us she needs some rules, because before then we didn't give her any rules because we thought that everything would be fine.. but i think she needs rules here.. so how should i go about it, its not bad rules, just clean your bedroom, bed to be made before school, no computer after 11pm on school nights. 11pm to bed on school nights. Is this to strict or what should i do.. My husband is away right now and will be home soon.. but i really can't take it anymore.. I need help and advice.. Her mother tried counlsing and that didn't work, so what should i do. If it don't get anybetter it might distroy my marriage. HELP!!!!!!

SnglMom0626's picture

Sounds like you have your hands full. Rules, structure, and discipline. It will be hard, and yes she will fight you all the way but her Dad and her Grandmother have to be on board so that there is some consistency across the different households. If she is so disrespectful now how are you (and family) supposed to get her through the really tough stuff that is coming....boys, school, breakups, friendships ending, etc... If you all can't talk about normal stuff how can the rest of it work. It is hard to start changing behavior now but you really have to try for all your sakes.

Good luck and be realistic in your rule setting so that she isn't discouraged right off the bat. Curfews, visitors, phone after certain hours...all of it should be reasonable but again...get Dad and Grandma on board too. This isn't all on you.

dannysong's picture

I believe that every troubled teenager possesses the capacity for greatness that can be uncovered with time and effort. The easiest way for this potential to be discovered and developed is by providing kids with the right environment. Enrolling your teen to a boarding school encourages adolescents to "Take a Stand" for what is right and is able to facilitate growth in troubled teens by helping them to uncover their strengths and realize their fullest potential.

mayamay's picture

Teens who already have a very strong relationship of trust with their parents may do very well in boarding school. Teens who have no hope of trust with their parents may have an opportunity to develop trust with adults in a boarding school setting. If there is a troubled relationship, but it still could be saved, sending a kid off to boarding school will put a tombstone on that relationship. The kid may survive and thrive, but the parent-child relationship that is already troubled will die.