AllieB's picture
AllieB

Help before my Marriage is over

I Have an 19 year old boy. He is a great kid, he is nice, he has a job (Not a great one) he never misses work or calls in sick, he is the most liked kid ever by adults. However, I think I may have spoiled him throughout his whole life, never wanting him to go without, feel sad, get in trouble etc. I also don't like when my husband is hard on him. It is ruining our marriage because he doesn't want him to be lazy and uneducated. We have a huge college fund, gave him a car and a beautiful home with all the toys he could ever ask for. He flunked out of college in a couple months, did not take care of the car, does not remember ANYTHING like the garbage, recycle, looses and forgets his wallet everywhere, breaks everything he touches, does not care about anything expensive that we buy for him or our home.I have often lied for him, cleaned up his messes, fixed things he broke. We are now at the point our marriage is truly suffering and I don't know what to do. We have taken the car away, he is just working and doesn't know what he wants to do if he goes back to school. My husband said let him walk! If Its cold out or raining I cant do it, it breaks my heart. It quite a far walk to work. How do I make this kid grow up and be responsible when its my fault he cares about nothing and doesn't try at anything? I just wanted him to be happy and it has ruined him to become an adult.



Sister83's picture
Sister83
Have you tried counseling with your husband? Have you taken the car away because he isn't sure if he wants to go to college... or because he won't do his chores? I think there's an important distinction there.