Help! 15 yr old daughter's bf having baby with ex
I am in desperate need of some advice. I'm so torn about this, that I'm having a very difficult time even being comfortable talking about this with my friends and family. I am nearly 31 years old and have a 15 year old daughter. I had her when I was 15.5. I've never been married, and it's basically been me and her on our own. My daughter starting talking to this boy online about 5 months ago. They talked and talked all the time, even through times where she's had another boyfriend, he's been there for her. They live 40 miles apart. She had been really scared to let any sort of a relationship start with him because he is 17 and has enlisted in the army. She didn't want to get involved, and then have him leave in July. So, two strikes so far against them....the distance, and the fact that he is leaving in July. They officially became a couple several weeks ago. This kid is great. I think he's a sweetheart, he treats my daughter very well, and they both get a long very well. I'm so happy for them. I've been extremely sad for them though knowing that he's leaving in July, so I've done what I can do when I can do it to make it possible for them to see each other. Driving the 40 mile trips every weekend for them to see each other.
Last Saturday, while he was at our house, he received a call from his mother. His ex-girlfriend found out that she was pregnant, and it is his child. She is six months pregnant. He told my daughter that they thought she was pregnant six months ago, but that the ex told him that she miscarried. He even went so far as to show my daughter email communication that the ex did in fact tell him that she had miscarried and they didn't have to worry anymore.
My daughter is having a difficult time with it. Her boyfriend says he can't be 100% sure that it is his baby because the reason they broke up was because she cheated on him with his best friend. My daughter says that she wants to wait out the 3 months, see if it is in fact his baby with a paternity test, and then see how she feels about it then.
However, I have no idea how I am supposed to feel about this. My daughter is 15 years old. I know what it is like to be that young and having a baby, so I want to be supportive of this kid. He says that he's in love with my daughter, that he will always be, and that he doesn't want to lose her because of this baby. Should I be putting a stop to this relationship? I'm torn because I love my daughter very much, she thinks she's in love with this kid. Remember when you were that age, no one could tell you you weren't in love. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to be the one responsible for breaking them up because I have issue with this. Should I be having issue with this? Is this just one too many red flags? Am I a bad mother to even consider letting them still date? I have no idea what to do. I can't even tell my best friend that my daughter's boyfriend is having a baby with his ex. What do I do?