exhaustedmom's picture
exhaustedmom

Help

Im at a crossroads. I have 5 kids at home oldest 23(which is my stepson that ive had custody of since divorce past 11 years.) My 20 yr old and then I have my soon to be 18, 16 and 13yr olds. I can not seem to get any help or get the 2 oldest to move out. When I say something they act as if im being unfair and ask to much of them or they just stop talking to me. I feel direspected and like they just dont care what i have to do to make ends meet as long as i do it. I just cant take it anymore. What should I expect of them am i expecting to much. What fair? I never thought id want to kick my own kids out but i do and just cant get them to do anything.(not even chores). Whats even harder is the 2 older ones pick on my soon to be 18 yr old and he's already talking about moving out and he's the one i can depend on. Im a single mom and have been for long time and I had hoped if anything I would have taught them to respect women but I believe I have failed. What should i do???? Any suggestions?



acitez's picture
acitez

Write out a contract with your expectations including attitude, finances, household help. Put in Everything you would want if you could wave a magic wand, even things that you just know they won't go for. Make it a little bit unreasonable. Then you have room to negotiate. I would even include a phrase about being notified if they plan on being out late

After you have negotiated, sign the contract. Pay $25 to have it notarized (sometimes your bank or work will offer a free notary). Help the kids understand that you have no legal obligation to provide housing or other support once they are adults. Help them understand the other Golden Rule, "the one who spends the gold makes the rules."

You have to plan on kicking them out if they don't live up to the contract. That includes changing the locks. When you put their belongings out on the sidewalk, put an invitation to Sunday dinner or family game night in an envelope on the top of the pile. DON'T let them come home to do laundry!