Freshwoman in College drops out/returns to Daddy's home
My stepdaughter went away to her first year in college. We (my wife and I) battled with her father to find a way to get his 1/2 of the tuition and Room and Board paid. Finally, when all of that seemed under control...she drops out after the first week of her second quarter (back in January). She has her excuses, like "It's just not the right place for me...", but the real reason is because she met a young man her age from our home town and wants to be near him. We told her if she chooses to leave school and come home, she must work, and must provide for herself, coming up with a plan for school if she chooses to continue with college.
Long story short, she chose to live with her dad, without transportation (although he has since promised to buy her a car this summer!). She lied about the 'refund' on her tuition and room and board, and stuck her mom (my wife) with a $2k bill for a dropped housing contract and tuition. 'Dad' got a partial refund but refuses to share it with his ex-wife! She is enrolled at a Junior College and now wants to attend a culinary school ($30k/year)for 2 1/2 years to pursue her desire to be a pastry chef. The new boyfriend lives three blocks from us and while she visits him two or three times a week (he drives her around) and actually stays at his home overnight (with his parents' blessing), she has visited us three times since January (two in the last two weeks, as she needed her mom to take her 'shopping', and you can imagine how much that cost!).
It is pretty clear to me she is abusing and using her mother (for everything!), who is about to cave on the tuition for the culinary school. What can I do to show or tell her mother that this young woman is abusing her love as a mother?