hollysocal's picture
hollysocal

Dilema w/ my 18yr old Dghtr

I guess I'll start with some background. My step-daughter came to live with her dad and I when she was 12 yrs old, she sees her mother (who lives out of state and is a HORRIBLE influence) during the entire summer and school holidays. At 16 she rebelled ALOT and definitely hung out with wrong crowd. We got her thru high school and while still pushing the boundaries graduated with honors. It seemed when she graduated that she was doing well, working and planning for college. Last month she turned 18 and acts like she can do whatever she wants. I understand she is technically an adult now but it seems like shes gone off the deep end. She hangs out with the people that got her in trouble in the first place and stays out most nights of the week. Just to note, when her new curfew was discussed she was told she didn't really have one but to be respectful of everyone in the house when coming home and to call or text if she wasn't going to be home. Well that completely blew up in our face because we get the I'm staying at so-in-so's house almost every night and im 99% sure she not actually where she says she is. The final straw came this morning when I was looking for MY shirt in her room and came across a note. I know I should not have invaded her privacy and read it but my curiosity got the best of me. It was from some 23 yr old in a probation camp saying how much he loves her and how when he gets out he wants to get an apartment with her and how he is doing all of this so they can be together, and then the bomb hit. He said he couldn't wait to find out if she was pregnant or not. WHAT!!!! So do I tell her dad and re-establish the rules or do I act like I saw nothing and let her make her own decisions??



Simply_Juliet's picture
Simply_Juliet

I remember when my mom found a note in my stuff saying some bad things and at first.. yes I was so mad at her for reading something and for invading my privacy but to be honest.. in the long run it really was for the best. Because she's 18 there really isn't much you can do. You should tell her father and together the two of you should discuss what to do with the information. If the note was out in the open you could always.. lie a little and say it was on the floor near her door and you picked it up to place it back into her room and you saw the word "pregnant". I know.. I know.. lying is terrible but ya know.. sometimes it's for the best.