bernlo's picture
bernlo

did you talk about sex with your teens?

I am a single father, and I'm not sure how to broach the subject of sex with my 14 year old daughter. I kind of don't even want to talk to her about it (I am ashamed to admit), but I want to make sure she has all of the information she needs and feels she can talk to me about dating and the boys in her life. And of course I want her to be safe and not do anything stupid.

She hangs out with a group of boys and girls, who I generally think are good kids. I don't know if any of them are dating, or if this is a purely platonic clique, but when I asked my daughter she rolled her eyes and dismissed the question. How can I make this an open and honest conversation?



elisar's picture
elisar

I think it's too hard to talk to a child about sex if you are the opposite sex. Darn - it's hard enough if you are the same sex...I would get her a book and give it to her and let her know that it's an awkward subject but you would like to discuss it if she wants to. Then you have to drop it unless she brings it up.... that's the hard part.
Elisar

cbrown37's picture
cbrown37

It's very hard for her to talk with her father. She will do better with another female. I have the same problem with my 15 yrs old son.

kczwmom's picture
kczwmom

14 years old and still haven't talked with your daughter about sex....hmmmm....I'd say you're going to have to get comfortable with it. At this age she knows about sex. She's probably known for quite some time. She probably doesn't need the facts, but she needs emotional support. So at this point you really need to just be available for her. Tell her your opinion of having sex at this age. As difficult as this is, she really wants to know how you feel. But try to do this without high emotions. The fact that you care enough to ask, I'm sure you're a reasonable father. Finding the right time might be difficult. But don't blame it on being the opposite sex. I've had the discussion with my sons without any problem.

linda's picture
linda

I tried to talk to my eldest daughter about sex and boys from about 13 or 14 - bought her an ideal book specially designed at teenagers on all subjects of life. Unfortunately she was never a level headed teenager and I being a single mum found it very difficult - especially by the age of 18 had given birth to a beautiful baby boy - we now find that we're alot closer and she's in a steady relationship and happily getting married in September.
On the other hand I have a 2nd daughter and she is much more level headed and has a stronger attitude to life. She on the other hand is more academic and will do well in her exams - but my first daughter has achieved alot and is thriving now.

It's very difficult to approach the subject of sex and I don't think you should make a big issue of it - but just calmly say you're there if she needs you and she will appreciate that more!

They get sex education at school now anyway - so I'm sure she'll benefit from that more.

TLewis's picture
TLewis

I have a 14 year old son and a 12 year old daughter. I have always been open about sex and discussions about sex. It  is a difficult subject. Let your daughter know that you understand that it is hard to discuss this with you and then leave the communication lines open. She will come to you for the important things. Trust her.

Indypendence's picture
Indypendence

I remember that I was very interested in sex at an early age due to the kids I grew up around and being molested by a neighbor.

All my grandmother ever told me about sex was don't do it; and that's all boys/men want.

In todays world I know kids are exposed to all types of raw stuff even though we try to shelter them from it.  I just don't know what to say.  I still think of my girls as just that; girls; little girls.  I love them so much I just want to be able to talk to them but, I don't know what to say.