Laura's picture
Laura

Daughter refuses to wear Pantyhose?

What is a mother to do. My daughter is starting school where they wear kilts. Often in the winter the temperature is cool and she refuses to where pantyhose. Not to mention the girls often hike up their kilts a little too high for my comfort level. Pantyhose would certainly help umm cover any exposed areas that might happen during the day.  I even suggested tights as an alternative? What do you suggests. Any other Moms having this battle. Where I work pantyhose.nylons are the norm. I take it at high school girls just don't wear anything on their legs at school........When I went to school in a kilt pantyhose and tights were mandatory. hmmm  Will I win this battle? Thanks Laura.

 



SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

It depends on who is in charge in your household. If the child is in charge then she wont wear them. If the parents are in charge, she will. The way you are approaching the situation tells me you believe she will win.

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

Tell your daughter, no pantyhose or tights, she can't leave the house. Let the school know you are doing this so they can support you. My 24 y/o daughter suggested this advice.

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

In a situation where a parent feels they are right, there is no need to give a choice. Yes, I said it, you do not have to give a child a choice. If you want her to wear panty hose, tell her to get them on and get to school. If she does not want to go to school, she will just not put them on. What do you do at that point? You are setting yourself up to fail. You are not going to allow her to stay out of school, and she knows this. There are several options to resolve this, but what age is the child?

pokey's picture
pokey

For me, unless it was mandatory at her school, it would be a matter of "picking my battles" with her---I would just let it go. Check with the school and see what the policy is. If it is the school's policy, well, that's a different matter, but if not, as I said, I would just let her go bare-legged.

It may be a regional thing, but around here most girls do not wear pantyhose with any outfit--ever. If it is like this at your daughter's school, perhaps she doesn't want to be the odd person going against the norm. After all, if I understood correctly, she is just starting out at this school? So she may want to fit in.

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

It sounds as if this mother has made her decision about what she wants her child to wear. When a parent makes a decision, it is not a battle. A parents determination for what they believe to be best for their child should never be labeled as a battle. The battle starts when the child refuses to obey their parent,not when the parent makes a decision. Let the child pick which battles they wish to lose. The parent has made a decision.

Do not back down from the decision you have made. Once a child knows that all they have to do is protest your decisions because you will eventually give in, you will have created a situation where every decision you make will be questioned. Make your decision and stick to it.

tamz's picture
tamz

"Pantyhose" are problematic in so many ways. I don't wear them... If you tell your child to wear hose or tights, you just gave her 'choice'... Let her choose one and then stick to your directive.

My father did not let me wear make-up when I was in Jr. High school. I would put the make-up on at school and take it off before I went home.

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

That is a matter of personality and/or possibly peer pressure. I was not allowed to wear makeup until 16, waited til my 16th b-day, wore it for about 6 months or so and have not worn it since. My daughter was not allowed to wear makeup until 18, wore it for 2 years or so and now seldom does.

Wearing pantyhose or tights under a (short) school skirt should be mandatory for a minor child. When she is an adult she gets a choice.

Laura's picture
Laura

Well I checked with the school and they strongly recommend them wearing tights or pantyhose. They did say more and more girls are opting for knee socks. We argued for about 25 mins this morning (almost making me late for work) she kept saying she felt uncomfortable wearing them.....in the end I did allow her to choose between tights or pantyhose. She agreed to opt for the later as long as she could choose from my selection not sure what that was about? But I do have different versions though....
I hope she didn't ummm take any of the adult styled ones! She is so grounded if she did. I told her to pick a control top style she just rolled her eyes.....
I didn't see which style she took as I was in late all ready but she said it was the right color (black).

I wonder though if she will just take them off at school hmmm. She is staying over at a friends house for a supervised birthday party tonight. Guess we will see how things go tomorrow morning :)
Thanks for the advice so far!

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

Since it is now known that the school wants the girls to wear pantyhose, why don't you take your daughter out shopping and let her choose the pantyhose she likes. At least then she feels she has some say in what she's wearing. Also, why not let her wear the knee socks over the pantyhose. If she buys nude stockings, no one will even notice.

acitez's picture
acitez

My perspective on the dress code is different because I have a son. When you do the "pick one" thing, my son is still distracted by the one you pick. We would both appreciate it if you showed respect for yourself and understanding for him if you would do the "calisthenics" dress code I don't see skin between armpits and about an inch below the derriere, even when you are touching your toes with your knees straight, or when your arms are lifted straight over your head.

My son is not supposed to treat your daughter like a sex object, even when she dresses herself like a tart. I don't get it. He does a great job of behaving respectfully since we believe that being respectful is about our own character, not about the respectability of other people.