46105's picture
46105

dating

my son is 18 & 1/2 years old and has never had a girl friend and shows no interest what so ever in the opposite sex (he is not gay ive herd him speak quite horribly about them) and he just gives me one of those ugggaas groans ever time i try to talk to him about it, or any thing for a matter of  fact, im concerned about this and for some reason i get the feeling its a lot more deeper than just "maybe he's just not ready to date yet"



kish's picture
kish

Is he a shy person? Maybe he just feels uncomfortable talking to you about girls. What makes you think it is more than "maybe he's just not ready to date yet"?

Cocoa's picture
Cocoa

Firstly, just because your son is homophobic does not mean that he is not gay. In fact, his homophobia may be due to his own insecurities about his sexuality. Also, whether your son is gay or straight, you should definitely talk to him about respecting and accepting homosexuality, and make it clear that negative and derogatory comments are unacceptable. You should also make it clear that you are tolerant, and you will accept and love him no matter what happens or whom he dates. Make sure he knows that your home is a safe place, regardless of his sexual orientation.


Another possible: there is a small percentage of the population that is asexual. You can learn more about this here: http://www.asexuality.org/home/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1


Additionally, it is possible that he may just not be interested in dating yet, or he may unsure about how to start. Perhaps the notion of dating makes him nervous. It could be as simple as him being a late bloomer.

46105's picture
46105

well Kish i dont know if you have kids or not but when your a parent some times you can just sense weather somethings right or wrong, and i just got one of those feelings, Cocoa im sorry for getting off track there but take my word for it male male relationships disgust him, i dont know if he has low self esteem or if he is depressed or if he is just so lazy he doesnt want to make an effort

kish's picture
kish

Maybe he is embarrased about something physically and that is keeping him from dating.

Nanny416's picture
Nanny416

Why are you guys going to the extreme about this?

 

Why is so important for you son to start dating?

 

Why not encourage your son to focus on his schooling? He should excell in school, and get a good career so that when he is ready to date he has something to offer ( and if the girl gets pregnant at least he'll be financially stable).

 

“It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” - The Golden Girls

camlady's picture
camlady

Hey,

I totally agree with your comment.  I have a 18 1/2 year old step daughter living with me, and has for 8 years, and she is the same, shy, and she has concentrated on her school, and has done fantastic, even though she struggled in the lower grades.  She has struggled so much and has made it and is now after taking a year off, working part time, going into the police foundation for college/university.

I totally agree, you don't have to push your children to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, and then there is my 12 year old daughter, and my hormonal 14  year old son. ha, it's all about being a mom and enjoying your children....