Host Marti's picture
Host Marti

Being the parent of a teenager

Hey All

 

I have to say that being the mother of a teenager is the hardest time I have experienced so far in motherhood.  My daughter is a good kid but I just feel that it is so challenging to make sure that they make the right and smart decisions at this age.

 

What do you all think is the hardest thing about being the parent of a teenager.  What is the best thing about being the parent of a teenager?

 

Marti



cccindy3's picture
cccindy3

Hi Marti!

What a good question. For me, the hardest part is letting go. My son is 17 years old and I have a hard time letting him make his own decisions and sometimes making his own mistakes. Along with that, giving him his own space and finding out that he doesn't want to tell me everything.

But the best part is when he does have a tough issue to deal with, he comes to me and asks for my opinion.  That makes me feel like I must be doing something right!

dmyres's picture
dmyres

Marti,

I am a parent to a 16 year old son.  I am really dealing with the letting go issue also.  My son has made some bad choices and fessed up to it.  That made me feel better but now I feel like I can't trust him anymore.  I hardly believe anything he says.  Do you think I am over reacting?  I believe he has made some changes but he also has not improved his school attitude.  He says it is because he has already messed it up.  He just wants to get the year over.  I can't convince him that you have to keep trying before you know the end results.  Any feedback?

Thanks

delemy

TLewis's picture
TLewis

I have a 14 year old son and a 12 year old daughter. I love seeing both my kids grow up  . But it is difficult in letting go. I have found out though experience that most kids will come back to you for your advice on the important things in life and when they come to you they tend to listen more closely to your advice then when you go to them. It is hard but we do have to trust them and let them make some of thier own choices and be there for them when they make bad choices without judging them harshly.

Susie's picture
Susie

Hi everyone,

I posted this on the main page. But here is my problem. She is very pretty finished school on the 21, of May. Yea!! But now its she wants to go and do what ever. We she and I and her dad made a deal. She can go out during the week until 2:am Weekends are a given she can go out as long as I know where to find her. She has a job and little to no bills. She has messed that deal up 3 times already. She wants to be on her on. Not told what and when to do somthing anything. Just what she wants. I did NOT raise her to be so disrespectful. I no kids want to go and do. and I let her. But I dont know what else to do except take her truck and say by. I dont want to do that. SO any help would be great.

xanwij's picture
xanwij

Hi! I have a 16 year old son and he's really into petty lying, smoking and drinking. I caught him several times already. He promised me also several times that he won't do it again. I've been summoned to school by his teacher several times and he's under probation because of smoking offense on campus. If he does it again, he'll get kicked out of his school. He didn't want that to happen. So what he did is he really studied hard and made up for the low grades due to low grade in conduct. He was able to succeed pushing his grades higher. It's school time once again and I am threatened scared about him getting into trouble again. The greatest hurdle i think is his set of bad influential friends. He's been so stuck with them and does things with them without thinking of the consequences. I caught him lying again yesterday about bringing his cellphone to school (which is not allowed) and hanging out with friends after schools (which I also said is not allowed because he has to concentrate on academics this year). I am fed up with his lies and his promises not to do anything stupid. I've exerted efforts to talk to him, understand him, give him my daily and nightly speech explaining why he should straighten up... This time around, I did not talk to him at all. Up to now, I still haven't talked to him. I am just teaching him a lesson because as a loving mother (single mom), I have raised them single handedly and have sacrificed a lot to give them the best that I could. I felt like when he disobeys me or lies to me, it's like he's betraying my trust in him. This time, I don't want to hear his promises by not talking to him. Maybe that would make him realize that what he really did was bad and will keep him on his toes and will make him watch every move he makes. My fear though is that, will this make him feel unloved or uncared for?

ChrisNZ's picture
ChrisNZ

It's really important to trust your kids, and it's really a credit to both you and him that he admitted to what he had done. Some parents aren't that lucky. Sometimes it's hard to know when your child is telling the truth sometimes. I came across this article http://www.getparenting.com/modules/smartsection/item.php?itemid="25


It's about drug testing and it's a way you can test for drugs without your teen knowing. That way you can find out if they are telling the truth and confront them if they are lying.
Sandy's picture
Sandy

Susie,
 We are going through the same thing! My daughter drives in to her job and works until 11 pm and then doesn't come home until 2 or 3 or 4.  I want her to get used to dealing with the freedom she will have at college in a responsible way, but we are suffering from lack of sleep waiting and worrying and we Don't know where she is or how to find her.  We work during the day.  What do you do?  We could take her vehicle but then one of us would have to leave work early to take her to work and then pick her up late at night, and we have done that before.  We could take her cell phone but then we really couldn't get ahold of her.  We've tried assigning chores as punishment to no avail, because she has to be at work before we get home so we miss each other.  Her room is a mess, she does nothing around the house, and she is unaccountable to anything but her job.  She feels she is ready to be gone on her own, as your daughter seems to be.  I've considered locking her out after a set time, but that seems too dangerous.  Can anyone give advice to get us through the next 7 weeks!