Blizz's picture
Blizz

6th grader and gay porn

My 11yo son who's not that tech savvy (for now) keeps checking out gay porn sites. The first time I found out was when his cellphone bill was unusually high and I had to look into his data usage history.

I asked him about it and he explained he just stumbled across the site. I have some gay friends and we are very diverse family, with beautiful biracial kids, but I would not want my own children to go though the route. I know This is something beyond my control ( IF he was actually gay) but that's my honest feelings.

Now, few months passed and today he visited the same website and searched for some sexual terms on wiki, including the word 'gay'.

Do you think it's too soon to judge/determine that my son's gay?
He talks about his crush( a girl), had a 'girl friend' who he's known for years and went to the prom ( elementary ) together with. Yet, I never came across any case where he was looking at 'regular' porn sites.

My husband is from a notoriously anti-gay culture so I can not consult with him even if it's only on a suspicious level. I don't think my husband will deal with this issue so gracefully..I really don't know what to do!

I'd love to hear any advice or personal experiences from other parents who might have had similar situations. I feel devastated, helpless and confused.



mayamay's picture
mayamay
any interaction between an 11-year old and porn is a problem, whether it's gay porn or not. I'd explain to him that pornography affects developing brains,I'd teach him strategies to protect himself from pornography, and I'd supervise closely, perhaps revoke phone/online privileges. Also, fill his life with sports/drama/scouting/service. If you just leave him with empty time, porn is a thing to do when someone is bored.
Sister83's picture
Sister83
He might be gay or he might just be curious. I think it is likely too early to jump to any conclusion about his sexuality. I would block any porn sites because he shouldn't be looking at any kind of porn. I am close to 30 years old and am a straight woman- never questioned my sexuality. I remember going into the gay chat rooms when AOL first came out (I was 11 or 12). I also remember looking at naked pictures of women in magazines. If online pornography were readily available when I was that age, I probably would have tried to look at it. I know this isn't really your situation, but thought I'd throw it out there.
pmother's picture
pmother
Please take this seriously! Your son should not be looking at gay porn. The advice about sports was good. I wish I had done that years ago when I saw my son looking at gay porn. If you can - church and sports - boy scouts is a good way to get him interested in boy-type activities. Also - if he is going to look at porn - I would show him the male/female version.