irislady's picture
irislady

18 y/o daug. using drugs + more

Hello!  This is my first time posting so please understand that I am going to be windy.  This all started in Dec 07 when I found our oldest daughter (20 years) had drug pipes/etc in her car while home for Christmas break.  We confronted her after the holidays and threatened to take her car/phone/etc but ultimately she promised to never use again if we would allow her to pursue her real college/career goal.  We helped her enroll in a different school that same day.  Then in April 08 my husband found our 18 year old daughter had pot in her car.  These things always seem to happen right before a major holiday or family event.  We approached her with the findings two days later only to have her admit she had been using but had purchased that months before and didn't know why exactly.  She said she would take any punishment we could give but honestly my husband and I are not sure exactly what to do.  She agreed to go to college here at a local junior college for the first year.  Now then just two days ago I went to get our 2 year old her allergy medicine when I found a bottle of prescription cough syrup (with codeine) 90% empty.  This bottle was purchased in March for our other daughter but NEVER opened.  My husband and I have VERY little doubt which child it was that drank/took it but we are flustered on what to do.  As I searched through the medicine cabinet I found we are missing several bottles of pain medicine- some from two years ago when I had my hysterectomy.  Instinctively I want to run her directly to the doctors office but I am afraid for several reasons.  My husband used recreational drugs in college and after (before we met) and I am not sure how much of that our kids know about/think they know about.  Secondly this is graduation weekend.   This young lady (and our other daughter- not twins but blended family) will both be graduating on Sunday and we are expecting atleast 30 family members for lunch/graduation party.  Do we wait until Monday or attack now?  She is 18 so she can move out if she doesn't like our punishment - what would you do for punishment?  Do you think we have moved from recreational to addiction ?  HELP!!

 

 

 



shellym's picture
shellym

Please help your daughter understand that what she is doing will lead to many consequences.
I am 19 years old. I started doing the things that you described when I was 14. Little things like smoking pot or drinking cough medicine or stealing pills from my parents cabinets quickly let to bigger things like stealing money or having sex with men for methanphetamine, using cocaine, dealing drugs, and more than once, putting myself directly in harms way. I am amazed that I wasn't killed or seriously injured doing these things.
My brother was stabbed 3 times due to a drug related fight. I scrubbed puddles of his blood off the floor and walls of his house.
SHE NEEDS TO SEE THAT IT ISN'T JUST FUN AND GAMES.
I got pregnant when I was 18 years old and cleaned up my act. I now have a beautiful daughter, and a wonderful fiance. I have been drug free for almost 2 years.
Due to my drug use, I have been diagnosed with a blood disease. There is no cure for it, and I will suffer from it til I die.
I want her to know that she is starting something that is just stupid. She is on the way to destroying every chance that she may have to succeed in life.
My heart goes out to you and her, good luck.
As for your question, I believe that attacking this problem now is the only way to fix the situation. Don't wait, please.
It's more important than her graduation party.

junieg's picture
junieg

Yes, it could lead to other things like it did for the last poster, but not necessarily. A lot of people start smoking pot when they are this age, and may experiment with other things. It does not mean that she will become an addict however and it will do no good to panic at this stage. As you said, your husband experimented and he is not an addict. Would there be any reason she is not telling you about that would necessitate her taking painkillers? If she is smoking pot from a pipe, then she might have a cough to contend with anyway. I believe it can be very rough taken that way.
Wait till after the graduation and take her aside. Explain how you feel and discuss with her the implications you feel it warrants. Get her side of the story first before you start to worry.

shellym's picture
shellym

junieg is right, it may not lead to other things, and i'm sorry if I made anyone panic, it's just that in my expirience with substance abuse, I have learned how quickly an addiction can latch onto you.
I just don't think it's something to wait on. Why take the risk?