Glenda's picture
Glenda

17 year old with a rotten attitude

Please help. I am at my wits end. I have a 17 year old boy who has up until about 4 months ago been a wonderful kid. But  lately he feels he doesn't have to get a job, has been skipping school, which is something he has never done before. Seems to feel that it's my duty to give him what he wants with no help in return. I'm a single mom working two jobs to support him and myself, have had him in hockey since he was 5 so the expense there has been unbelievable, but I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping him off the streets and involved in community sports. My plan seems to have failed becuase it's been a constant struggle to tell him over and over to get a job, help with the dishes, help around the house. I work 12 - 13 hours a day and I'm running out of steam especially when I get home and see the place a mess.

He's finally gotten himself a job, but worked 3 days then got sick....not sick enough to not go to his friends house....not sick enough to not go away for the weekend but sick enough to not go to work at a job he just got. Now I find out today he's missed a whole week of school!!!

He gives me attitute....yells at me the minute I try to bring something up. Storms out of the house when we have an argument and won't answer his cell phone (which I'm paying for!!)

I can't seem to discipline him anymore cause when I put down a rule he just does what he wants. What can I do...I can't drag him back into the house by the scruff of the neck....he's bigger than me!!

His father isn't involved with him at all right from day 1. It's always been the two of us and we have always had a strong relationship so I don't know where I've gone wrong or how to fix it. I feel like I've lost him and I don't know how to get him back. I don't think he's doing drugs but I just don't know what's going on!

Please if anyone has any advise / help I would be more than willing to give anything a try

 



DeniseT's picture
DeniseT

The very same thing happened with my daughter but started earlier. I initially thought it was an attitude, a teen thing.....but it only got worse. In her Junior year we discovered she was smoking pot and drinking. Then came the harder drugs. She ended up stealing from the house and we ended up having her arrested. Tough Love! In can happen in any household of any any economic level and whether there is 1 or 2 parents in the home. My husband and I were conservative in bringing up the family. The bottom line is that you can't take this personally.....but you do need to do something.

Is there a trusted relative or family friend that can talk to him to find out what is going on and can talk to him frankly.

Talk with his friends parents...are there similar changes with his friends...what changes have those  parents seen of your child. Talk to the hockey coach. If professional help is needed get it for him. That is what turned things around for us.

It is a bumpy road. I am not sure we did everything right and our daughter has continued to make some bad decisions. No matter what DON'T give up on him. Just take action! 

 

 

 

  

Glenda's picture
Glenda

Thank you very much for your advice. I had my sister talk to him and she was able to get a bit of information out of him. I have to learn how to control the situation and when he verbally attacks me I have to learn how to stay calm and leave the situation until he calms down. I also have to learn to stop bailing him out of everything and let him make mistakes and leave it up to him to sort them out. I'm going to look at getting some help through a councellor at the school and see if that helps him. I always said I was scared of the teenage years and thought I was in the clear till just awhile ago. Sorry to hear about your daughter and I'll do my best to not give up on him. If I survive these years then I can survive anything!!!!!!

Glenda's picture
Glenda

Thank you very much for your advice. I had my sister talk to him and she was able to get a bit of information out of him. I have to learn how to control the situation and when he verbally attacks me I have to learn how to stay calm and leave the situation until he calms down. I also have to learn to stop bailing him out of everything and let him make mistakes and leave it up to him to sort them out. I'm going to look at getting some help through a councellor at the school and see if that helps him. I always said I was scared of the teenage years and thought I was in the clear till just awhile ago. Sorry to hear about your daughter and I'll do my best to not give up on him. If I survive these years then I can survive anything!!!!!!