16 year-old daughter dating a cutter
Help! I just discovered that my 16-year old daughter has taken up with a 16 year old boy who cuts himself. He is controlling, manipulating, and emotionally unstable. Unfortunately, this is who she has chosen to be with, and will not listen to me or anyone else when it comes to him. I came home and found this boy hiding in my house when my house rule was not to have him over when I was not there to supervise. Needless to say, my reaction to the both of them was not good. I threw him out and yelled at both of them for breaking my rules. Although they were not engaging in sex when I got home, I suspect that they have at some point. This "relationship" has only been going on for a couple of months, and I have noticed a stark change in my daughter's personality and attitude. I found out that he cuts himself after being told by one of my daughter's friends that he puts it on his MySpace page. In addition, I found letters which substantiates it. In his letters he made comments that "because you did not call me back, I felt like cutting". I am scared to death to have her anywhere near this boy. They attend the same school, and unlike her, he has no parental supervison at home. I am a single parent and cannot watch her 24/7, although I am prepared to do whatever I have to do to protect my daughter. Up to this point, she has really given me no major problems, other than a few normal teenage blunders. As a result of the blow-up with her and the boyfriend, she went and put a HATEFUL message to ME on her MySpace page which was like a stab in my heart. I have been nothing but good to this child, and she is showing no respect. She has been gone for 2 weeks on winter break with her dad, who lives 400 miles away, and is sopose to return home in the next week. We have not spoken in two weeks. I have spoken with her dad about leaving her there for the next semester of school just to put some distance between her and this kid, but even that might back-fire. If I do bring her back home, I am prepared to ensure that there are consequences to her actions, however, I would have to quit my job to keep them apart, which obviously cannot happen. Any advise?