15 yr old daughter is lying about talking and kissing an 18 yr old. Help!
I have a newly turned 15 yr old daughter, she set up a date with an 18 year old for homcoming, lied to me about it and had a parent lie to me after the dance where she was spending the night. I grounded her for a month, took away cell and told the boy she was not allowed to date till she was 16. Now four months later she is texting this boys best friend who is also 18(and Im sure he knows that she is not allowed to date). They have kissed at another dance and she is texting and calling him. I have made it clear that her dad and I want her to wait till she is 16 to date. She is mature, gets good grades and is honest most of the time.
She said that she doesnt want to talk about boys with me cause I "freak out" . My freaking out is just reminding her that she only gets to be a kid once and its such a short time, that waiting to date is a good idea.
I also have flashbacks to my mindset at that age, and I remember being totally head over heels with an older boy (who I was not allowed to date till I was 16) and the sexual feelings that go with that. if I had been allowed to date this boy it shurly would have led to sex.
So when these older boys started showing her attention(shes 5'7 and looks older) she has no interest in the boys her own age. I probably would have been ok with her going to a dance with a boy closer to her age but I know what's on an 18 yr old boys mind.
She says I dont trust her and that she is planning on waiting till she is married till she has sex. Of course, I said I wanted to wait till I was 30 to get married but I fell in love at 16 and married my high school sweetheart at 18. We are happily still married.
Have times changed? should I let her date? She is lying to me and I hate that. Im afraid it is damaging our relationship. And when we approach her about the texts she says ok she will stop but she hasnt.
I texted the boy and he says he will just be friends but Im not really so sure about that. She is sneaky now about who she likes and I think she will pursue this boy even though we have said no to dating him.
Please I need advice!!
Stressed out mom! Sorry so long