Msstull's picture
Msstull

14yr old girl dating older man

I have a question. My boyfriend has a 14yr old daughter. Her mother has been back in her life now for about 2yrs. Her mother has been dating this 30yr old guy on and off for about 2yrs, he just went to jail for stealing about 2 weeks ago. We just found out today from letters the 30yr old(her mother's boyfriend) was trying to send to the 14yr old girl that they have been in a relationship for a while and more than likely sleeping together.

Pretty much to sum it up is My boyfriend's daughter (that is 14) was having a relationship (sleeping with) her mom's boyfriend who is 30yrs old. 

Problem is we don't know what to do, we have talked to the cops and we don't have enough evidence to press charges against the 30yr old man.  (Thankfully right now he is in jail) so we don't have to worry about them being together for a little while.  But what do you do to the 14yr old girl?  How do you make her understand that being with a 30yr old man isn't ok and exspecially it being her mom's boyfriend?  (Which makes me sick).

They both are writing back and forth saying: we will get through this, we have our whole lives together. 

 

Please post all advice you have on this matter.  I don't know what to tell him to help him out with his daughter in this very messed up matter.



Nanny416's picture
Nanny416

Maybe you can call Child Protection Services in your area since the girl is under age.

 

"Maybe “It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” - The Golden Girls

TLewis's picture
TLewis

I come from a background of being molsested by my stepfather from the age of 14 to I move out at the age of 18. At the age of 14  you do not realize what is wrong with this picture. I suggest maybe counseling and not allowing him to have any contact with her at all. Maybe getting her interested in age approiate activities will help. Keep us posted.

Susie's picture
Susie

I DONT THINK SO. IF HE IS IN JAIL NOW GO AND FILE CHARGES ON Him. SICK MAN. SICK WOMAN TO LET IT GO ON!!!!

But no this is not a good idea for anyone to let happen or go on. Take the girls mother to court take her away.

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

    “It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” - The Golden Girls

I take special offense to this asinine statement. I am a single father who has fought and won custody and sole decision making for my children. My children are well behaved, clean, healthy, and excellent students. My wife did not want to work to help with bills, maybe I could say “It’s not easy making a living, if it were, women would do it”. That statement would be about as accurate as the one you used. There are many working mothers, just as there are many fathers who are active in their children’s lives. I guess that I shouldn’t be too offended by your statement. How much credit can I give someone that gave the advice you gave, and quotes the golden girls? Good Day.