global mom's picture
global mom

Normal teen?

After reading some of the discussions, I consider myself pretty lucky. I have a 15-year-old son and a 10-year-old daughter. My son doesn't drink or smoke, run with a fast crowd, etc. The problem I have with him is at home. At times he can be disrepectful, telling me to shut up, or laughing at me if I get frustrated. He knows just what buttons to push, and at times seems to be really anxious to get a rise out of me. When he is iin one of these modes, he just keeps going and going until I end up yelling at him; then it's all my fault--he doesn't like the school he goes to and thinks he's having trouble because of his family life; I have no idea what he's going through because I don't have to go to work (I'm a stay-at-home mom); he says he's out of here when he's 18, etc. Then the mommy part of me feels guilty because he's so down on himself.

We live overseas, and have since he (and his sister) were born. He likes the lifestyle. We are finishing up 3 years in Spain, and in a few weeks should know where we are moving next. I know this is giving him some stress-some of our possibilities he isn't happy with, and of course he says we don't care about what he wants.

Basically I just want to know that there are other moms (or dads!) who get the same stuff. Again, I'm happy that he's not into dangerous things, but sometimes there is a lot of stress between us.



mayamay's picture
mayamay

This would be a good time for his dad to have a man-to-man chat with him about how real men behave toward women in general, and about how Dad expects people to treat his wife in particular.

global mom's picture
global mom

They have had that talk, many times. My son isn't like this all the time; I've noticed that it comes when he is particularly stressed from school, which is a pretty rigid place. He can be very sweet a lot of the time-there are just times when the rudeness comes out.

mayamay's picture
mayamay

Try humor. When he's pushing your buttons--give him a big smile and the remote control, and walk out of the room. You have little control over his behavior, and the challenge is to adjust your response to him so that he has little control over you. Engage your own creativity to lighten things up between you.

global mom's picture
global mom

Makes sense-thanks for the idea.

Sister83's picture
Sister83

Also, exercise and sports I think are very important for boys that age. Make sure he is physically active enough.