Infant visits and family gatherings
My first grandson is now 8 weeks old. My daughter-in-law and son have not yet taken him anywhere except for his doctor appointments. He has severe reflux for which he takes infant Zantac and Mylicon, also Thrush which spread to his intestines but is now slowly getting better. He needs a lot of sleep due to these issues and is fussy a lot of the time he is awake. I go up once a week, spend the night and the entire next day, giving my d-i-l a much needed break and her mother spends one day a week also.
Because of the baby's issues, my d-i-l does not have much energy for visitors as she is always exhausted. The one time her sister came over to "help" she insisted on bringing her children, 2 1/2 and 5, who are very disruptive. Her sister spent the entire visit tending to her own children and did not leave until my son got home and suggested she go. My d-i-l has now told everyone they cannot visit with children, can come 1 or 2 at a time and stay for no more than an hour. This is causing hard feeling in her family and now with the holidays, they expect my d-i-l and son to bring the baby to their big family gatherings and are getting upset that they will not be attending. They all also want group pictures with the baby.
Any suggestions on how to explain/deal with/smooth over the situation without her family's feelings being hurt? Everyone on my son's side of the family has been understanding of the situation.