Carabraza's picture
Carabraza

How cheap is this

After I had a baby, I was staying with my in laws for a couple of months due to past conflicts, my conversation with them was limited (partly because I did not want to, and partly because I did not want to say anything that might be taken in a wrong way. Who knows how many fights i avoided by talking less.) My sister in law would visit and notice that I don't really talk much to her mom and dad. One day she just started yelling at me, telling me how rude I am to them, and ended by this remark- "my parents do so much for you and the baby, but your parents did not even come to visit the baby." I was deeply hurt by this remark. My parents dis not visit due to medical problems. After yelling at me, she complained to my father-in-law that I tried not to let her have the organic cheese, and instead offered her fungated cheese. This was completely untrue, not to mention totally absurd, because I had no idea the cheese was bad until I opened the packet. In fact, the next day, I checked the organic cheese and it also had a spot of fungus on it. I showed that to my mother-in-law and told her I am throwing it in garbage. Guess what, 2 weeks later, while cleaning the fridge, I found that same packet in the crisper- with 'beautiful fungal colonies'. And on thinking back, I realised why the cheese that she served my father-in-law the day before looked so familiar. My mother-in-law had fished out that packet from the garbage can and put it in the fridge. She could just have told me she will use it before I threw it in the garbage.
I have 2 questions: how would other people feel hearing a comment like this about their parents? Is there anything that is more cheap than what my sis-in-law said and what my mother-in-law did.



SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

If what was said about your parents was untrue, why does it matter? You should have simply waited until she was done with her misinformed rant and calmly set the record straight.
My grandmother came from the days of the great depression where everything was saved. A piece of mold on cheese or ham was cut away and discarded. The rest was used as usual. I wouldn’t call them cheap, just frugal.
The issue I would have, were I them, is finding out that the person who has been living under my roof is talking about my family behind my back. If you do not like these people, how they live, or their quirks you should move out now before things get worse. These people are helping you take care of and provide for your child, and you pass judgment on them. If you think things are hard now, wait until the day you realize that the world owes you nothing.
As for your parents, I sincerely hope the medical issue is soon resolved and they can come visit their grandchild.

pv16's picture
pv16

I can understand how you feel. I have been thru problems with my in laws when i lived with them. I have found that when ones in laws are difficult or different from you and you simply cannot get along with them, its best not to live with them. I now have an excellent relationship with them.

Carabraza's picture
Carabraza

Thanks. I feel better that someone can understand me.

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

It is time for you to do what you can to be able to establish your own household. In-laws can at times seem to be insensitive, and it is usually a result of philosophical differences. When you are on your own, the relationship will likely improve.