camping4the4ofus's picture

Is it ok for Mom to discuss discipline advice in front of her child?

My friend calls me on a daily basis and discusses the all the (BIG) troubles she is having with her 2 yr old son. The problem is she is talking about him (albeit good or bad) on the phone (or in person) with him in the same room. I can't help but wonder if she is making the situation worse. We'll have conversations lasting anywhere from 2-25 min's all about her son. I suggested that she try for 2 weeks and NOT talk about him within earshot. I offered that she can come visit me anytime to blow off some steam. I was hoping someone had a good professional reason as to what she is doing is wrong.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

I'm no professional, and I don't know what big troubles you're refering to, but I think it is probably best that your friend discusses these issues when her son is not w/in earshot. She shld try not to sound negative in front of her son. 2 is a difficult age. It's okay, though, for you to offer suggestions or just lend an ear. Maybe it wld be helpful for your friend to join a mommy and me class where she can compare notes w/ other moms in the same boat as her. Hope this helps.

Carebear5's picture

I have a 23 month old (almost 2) and a 3.5 year old. I couldn't even remotely imagine my 2 year old understanding the conversation. My 3.5 year old would definitely listen in.

I have mixed feelings -- sometimes things get rough with toddlers and you do need to blow off steam pretty immediately. I have one friend I will talk to about marriage issues and I do it in front of my younger kids. I do it, though, by changing names and using VERY high or changed vocabulary. (using employment instead of work; infuriating instead of angry). My younger kids don't have a clue. I would never do this when my kids get to double digits. In fact, I have a deal with my teens that I will NEVER discuss their behavior or anything negative about them with anyone but them and their dad and they have to give me the same courtesy. (So, if they are mad at me, they cannot go gripe to their friends - but to their siblings.)