Husband too strict at dinner table
I have 2 teens (14,16), stepdaughter, and a 2 year old son with my husband. I love him but he is so strict at the dinner table and has rules that I do not agree with. If I say something to him and one of my children comments on it or asks a question bc they are interested in the topic, he immediately interrupts them and tells them this conversation is none of their business and that it is a private conversation between 2 adults. I am at the FAMILY dinner table -the whole point is that we are sharing time as a family - conversations included and if I say anything at that table - even if I directed it to my husband, I am absolutely OK with my kids becoming a part of the conversation. I think it is rude to tell them they can't participate. AM I wrong? He tels me that 3 people at work all agree with him (we have had this fight before over him telling the kids they are not part of the conversation). Now if they interrupt or they are rude or get too personal about something I will certainly tell them that is not appropriate. But I should not be bringing up - nor should my husband - be bringing up anything he does not want them to comment on. If we need to talk in private then we should do so at a later time behind closed doors. He believes in the "children should speak when spoken to" - YUCK! I have taken enough college child psych classes and family relations to know that phrase is not healthy for kids. This is really becoming a sore subject for us and I don't know how to deal with it - he is very stubborn and has to be right most of the time. He did not have a good childhood. He lost his father at an early age and his stepfather was verbally and physically abusive. They were not treated with respect and were made to do many chores. I am assuming he got into trouble at the dinner table and was not allowed to talk when he wanted to. I am hoping I can get some other opinions on this subject - I hope I am not just being oversensitive. I just want to have nice dinners where we all feel comfortable and my children are not afraid to ask questions or participate in conversations.