Pregnancy
Discussion Title: Mother-in-law
Created by: heidi-bear
Created on: Sun, 07/06/2008 - 6:32pm.
Created by: heidi-bear
Created on: Sun, 07/06/2008 - 6:32pm.
I don't know what to do about my MIL. She bought our son a toy that states, "choking hazard and for children 3yrs and older," our son is 8 months old! She also bought him another toy at a yard sale which is fine but she did not clean it or inspect it before she gave it to him.
He was asleep in the car(I was in the car as well) while my DF went to drop something off in his mother's house. Of course, she wanted to see him and came out with this toy and tried to wake him up. Good thing he didn't wake up because the toy was dirty and rubber pieces on it looked like it had been gnawled on by a dog or a child with really sharp teeth. I hid it in the house so DF wouldn't give to him to play with.
DF thinks his mom is wonderful! It scares me for her to watch our son and I would rather stay at home than go out to dinner because I would be worried the whole time. He thinks I am pointing things out because I don't like her, but I would do the same to my mom and have in the past.
I need my DF to understand that I am worried about our child and he needs to be just as worried. I've tried to let all the stupid things she's done go, but its going to be that one time that will hurt our son.
Am I crazy?!
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Replied: 7/7/2008 1:07am.
No, you're not crazy. You're just being a cautious parent. I'd be the same way, especially w/ a baby. I personally don't let my dad watch my kids alone b/c he's got very little common sense. He's a loving grandfather, and he's great w/ the kids otherwise, but I wldn't put it past him to snooze on the couch while the kids are writing on the walls, or worse! Don't get me wrong. I love my dad, but some things are better suited for certain people. Give your MIL time w/ your son, but be there. She has to respect your decision b/c you're the mother, not her. Be kind, but stand your ground. It's your right. Good luck!
Replied: 7/7/2008 6:53pm.
What is a DF?
Replied: 7/7/2008 8:41pm.
DF= Dear Fiance, you may have seen DH=Dear Husband in other chats or message boards, but we aren't married.
Replied: 7/7/2008 10:36pm.
I imagine that your MIL(to be) may be trying too hard to make connections with this child that can be "taken away" from her by your not marrying her son. I also envision my own MIL who I came to see as unreliable as a babysitter for my kids. She refused to give prescribed medication because she "knew" he had been misdiagnosed - he still has asthma, among other things. She may be trying too hard to get this child to love her with the new toys and needing to get the child's immediate appreciation of them. Grandmothers always know more than mothers because they have been all the way through it...never realizing they have forgotten much of it and are not aware of the tremendous changes that have influenced child rearing since then. I think you should try to find a reliable friend to babysit or pay someone reliable for the time being. Ask her to go out with you the first time so she doesn't get upset that she isn't babysitting, if you need to. Try very hard to help this woman be the grandmother you can work with as your DF and your child need her as part of their network and you need her on your side. Be honest, but be gentle - unless or until it becomes necessary to stand your ground for safety's sake.