Grandma smoked pot with my child
It has recently been brought to mine and my husbands attention that when our oldest daughter, who is 20 now, confessed that when she was 17 her grandmother on several occasions got our daughter and a friend of hers to purchase and bring to her large quantities of pot, in exchange she would buy our daughter cigarettes, and also on several occasions smoked pot with our child. Our child would have gone to jail had she got caught with this amount of drugs! My mother in law has been a terrible grandmother, to say the least, to our children through the years. I have done nothing but try to get along with my MIL, I have prayed countless times for her and I to have a good relationship but nothing has changed this woman in 25 years. She has "forgotten" our childrens birthdays, she ALWAYS does more for her other grandchildren. She never babysat for us just to have an hour break, but yet babysits for the others all the time. She refused to come see our youngest get baptized, her first grandchild to get baptized! At Christmas she showers the others with gifts while my kids are lucky to get a $10 sweater. We have 3 children, our son is 24, and daughters 20 and 16. My husband has 3 brothers, 2 which between them have 3 biological kids and 1 stepchild, while his youngest brother has 2 step daughters. I have tried everything to make her a part of our lives! But she goes out of her way to do things for the others, buys her other sons birthday presents while my husband is lucky to get a phone call. The list goes on and on and on of the things she has done to show obvious partiality. Our youngest has asked "why does grandma hate us"... What do you say to that? And now that we have been told about her doing drugs with our daughter, who thank God is not on drugs and has just gotten engaged to an awesome young man, but now we are stuck... What do we do? Almost 25 years of her not even being what a grandmother should be, and my daughter saying she did these things just trying to have some kind of relationship with her grandmother which of course got her no where, grandma didn't even wish her a Happy birthday this year. I give up! She has caused my children and myself enough heartache that I've told my husband I am DONE with her. I don't even think we should go to Christmas at his families, our kids don't want to go. Our kids are tired of the way she does our family. But my husband doesn't even know how to confront her, and says we can't just simply not show up. Any advice would be appreciated.... What would any of you do??