MJL9334's picture
MJL9334

Feeling bad about my body

Im elven and I feel really bad about what I eat and the amount of exersise I get. I way 162 and I am 5ft 6". No boys like me because either I'm 2 times their height or 2 times their body weight I also am not good friends with any girls in my grade or really at all. My best friends are guys.I'm in 6th grade and my guy friends are in eighth grade. Sympathy empathy or advice any response will help.



gail Hanson's picture
gail Hanson

Apart from your weight, how is your health?  To manage your heart health, your digestive system, and your mood, the very best things you can do are to 1. walk for at least 1/2 hour every day, 2.  drink water, 3  eat veg. and whole grains.  If you are a girl, this also helps with menstruation issues. 

If your health is good, the friendships and admiration will come in good time.  If you are eleven and already concerned about boys "liking" you, when your best friends are boys, then you do need to focus on other things.  Don't worry about boyfriends until the boys you like have full-time jobs, OK?  Spend your energy on finding out the things to do that are fun for you, that you have the talent and interest to get really good at.

MJL9334's picture
MJL9334

Thanks, Gail

I'll definitly try it. About the boy deal. There is this one boy who makes fun of me becuse of my weight and then he pretends he likes me I don't get it?

Princess21's picture
Princess21

I think that if he wants to talk about you with your or his friends around then when no one is around he likes you he may really like you and to afraid of what other people think or he is just trying to play with your emotions. Obviously he isn't a descent person and you dont need him hang out with people that respect you all of my friends are skinny but I'm not but they still like me for who I am and I love my friends for that! I thought I had the same problem when I was your age I'm only a little bit older but I still know what you are going through. Just be yourself and if people don't like it then its on them because you are going to live your life happy and proud there is nothing that they can do to stop you!!!!

gail Hanson's picture
gail Hanson

You can't let other people set your agenda.  Figure out what is important to you, now and in your own future, ( and who is important to you, like your family, long-term friends, older people in your neighborhood/church group) and spend your energy on those things.  You have no control over other peoples' behavior. 

MJL9334's picture
MJL9334

I know but it is hard not to get my feelings hurt because I already don't like how I look and when other people point it out its like omg they notice it too and then it becomes something I feel is a big deal.

MJL9334's picture
MJL9334

I know but it is hard not to get my feelings hurt because I already don't like how I look and when other people point it out its like omg they notice it too and then it becomes something I feel is a big deal.

sunshine3793's picture
sunshine3793

Hello MJL9334,

           I know that it is hard to try to not eat junk food. But the only thing that i think might help is to not eat chips, candy, or drink pop because those three things will put weight you. The other thing that might help is to try to eat fruit and vegs rather than other food. White bread is not good either wheat bread is the best for your health. I know how you feel i'm 14 and weigh 170 so... what i do is just cut 500 calories day. If you was to do that then u can lose a pound a week. I don't want u 2 think i was being mean or anything i just would like the best 4 u.

MJL9334's picture
MJL9334

thanx sunshine,

I know what food is healther and all that jazz but the hard part for me is getting exersize.I want to find a way to fit it in because i know i have to but bad habits are hard to break and i like sports but teams always make me feel bad because other kids make make fun of me because im not very good.

sunshine3793's picture
sunshine3793

It doesn't matter what other proplr thinks about u sweety. All that matters is GOD loves you. About the excerise thing maybe ran up and down stairs for like 10mins or less or maybe go to the bike trail with friends and just ran and play cuz believe or not when u r playing and not even trying to loose weight u do! I wouldn't care what poeple think of me I would particpate in any school activity when ever i get the chance.

krein's picture
krein

I'm very familiar with what you are feeling.  In 5th grade I was wearing a size 12 in Women's clothing.  The only friends that I had were guys, with the exception of one girl.  I hated my body and everything about me.  This self-esteem issue lead to a lot of bad decisions that I regret and can't take back.  I am 33 and currently wear a size 4, but I'm still haunted by the 5th grader in me!!! Do your parents know how you feel?  If they don't, communicate this to them.  You will need their support.  I feel that if you do not change your lifestyle habits  (friends, eating habits (not dieting), physical health- excersice, etc.) in order to be able to change the way you feel about yourself, you may end up making mistakes and regretting them.  You will not have healthy relationships unless you love yourself.  If you do not/ can not love yourself the way you are, you & only you have the power to change it.  You MUST do that now while you are young.  You have to think about & start making plans/goals your future.  Worrying & thinking about boys will only deter you from reaching any of your goals; especially stay away from older boys at your age right now.  Fix you first, then let any relationship that may happen with a boy happen; when it's meant to be.  I know it's much easier for me to tell you this than to actually do it, but I know what you are going through.  Famous last saying, "If I knew then what I know now!!!".