Co-mama's picture
Co-mama

What to do???

Ok, Here is my situation...

I’ve been married for 4 years and my husband has a 8 y.o. daughter from his prior marriage.  She’s a very sweet girl and I love her. We get along so well (I will knock on wood). She’s with us every other day. He and his ex have joint custody and she lives near by so it’s working out well for all of us.  Now here is the problem. I really, REALLY want to have a baby. And he’s saying he’s done. He gets very upset every time when I bring up this subject. The whole situation makes me very sad. I don’t thin its fair to me. And I don’t know what to do.  Because no matter haw good my relationship with his daughter, I’ll never be her mom…But I do want to become one... I need some help and advise. Thank you.



northernmom3's picture
northernmom3

I'm sorry to hear that your husband doesn't want another child. But glad to hear that you have a great relationship with your step-daughter, that's important.

A friend of mine went through the same thing, her husband had a child from a previous relationship. After they were married, he said "no" to more children. She wanted a baby, but knew he wouldn't be there for her the way she'd want him to. And chose not to have a baby, she chose her husband. I was saddened to hear that. That he took that away from her.

I don't know what advice to give you either than try again to calmly talk to him. He has to see your side of this.

Good Luck and keep us posted!

gail Hanson's picture
gail Hanson

This is one of those situations that mean you have to choose.  It is not fair to you to be married to someone who absolutely refuses to grant this important desire of yours.  It is not fair to your husband to be married to someone who absolutely refuses to grant his important desire of being a father to just one child.  It is not fair to your step-daughter to have to share her daddy with a new wife and new babies.  I think you are in a tough position.

lanie's picture
lanie

just curious here, and not being judgmental...but did you and your husband discuss any of this before you were married? If so, how did that go??