carrie2theworld's picture
carrie2theworld

Tired of being an adult momma never told me their would be days like this

here it is i would just like to know if i am the only person out there that is tired of being a adult here i am 38 almost to the big B-Day and i will 39 ,i have 5 kids they can be at any givin moment the sweetest kids and then it happens they change to the meanest most selfish unhelping monsters on this side of the planet but yet i love them still !!! go figure , i think with this new age comming i have been thinking more about my past then i ever had at times when i look in a mirror i haved to look closer because i dont know the person looking back at me ,either that or i may need glasses .when i think about my life i think is this what i was put here to do ? i sometimes for a second think i may have taken a few wrong turns in my path in life .as i write this my youngest has just finished eating her own slices of pizza and has come to work on mine and dang i am hungry ! this happens alot i must eat fast or it is gone .when i woke this morning as a new grandmother i have lots of new feelings the first i really believe im a little young to be one ,next that i love my new granddaughter so much the next relief that they dont live with me ,i really believe after raisingkids since age 15 that i deserve to be done with all the bad that comes with a new baby i need to be just grandma .all my kids are are older except the my 9 yr old but that is still good age to get out and go with .i find myself missing the simple life when i was a kid no bills ,no worries ,the good life when i used to worry over if ken and barbie had matching clothes OH those were the good days !i looked on ebay for someone who may have a time machine imagine my shock when no one did ,i asked my doctor if he had a magic potion he didnt .sometime it feels like i went to sleep playing and woke up to this crazy dream that is everlasting i have piched my self many times to see if i was ,i think i need those red shoes in the wiz oz so i can click my heels and go home .now my daughter has finished my pizza im lef with none .but then she smiles you see i would change my life for anything i just wish for a little more ..............i just wish i knew what that little something more was .



carrie2theworld's picture
carrie2theworld

that is wouldnt change my life because i really wouldnt i meesed up typing

acitez's picture
acitez

I bet your momma did tell you, but you didn't listen. If you have the opportunity, go give your momma a big hug and tell her you are glad that she was the adult when you were the child.

carrie2theworld's picture
carrie2theworld

i do i hug her everyday just like i do all my kids and now my granddaughter she lives right next door i see my mother everyday and all day and yes she did tell me i like the saying because people never listen when they are told things by a mother they want to learn it the hard way my kids are my whole world i have always been here for them and will always do that ,i spend my days working out of my home so i can be here for my kids ,i spend my nights playing and doing anything i didnt get to with them during the day i have never taken a trip away from my kids and have never been away from my kids for longer then a few hours and that was during the birth of another i have gone with out clothes and food before in the bad times so my kids could have we are lucky we have our health also one of my children has severe MR and i have raised him to the age of 18 so far all by myself with no help .so when it comes to be being a parent that is not what this post is about it is about having a need for that something more not to replace the life i have and have chosen but to make it that much better for once in your life doing something for your self after so many years of not about knowing you have done what you have wanted and needed for your family but when you wake in the morning realizing that some of life has past you by and you didnt even notice through all the house chores ,dirty diapers ,runny noses ,skined body parts ,tangled haired ,being a taxi for every child in the neighborhood ,taking care of the pets that kids swore they would if you would just let them have the bird ,dog ,cute little kitten a friends cat has had ,the hamsters in the cage that wont make a mess after all how much trouble can they be they are in a cage ,rabbit ,fish ,then all the little cries and big cries the family deaths the pets death you see we get caught up in life and sometimes forget to take care of ourself

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

We have all felt some version of what you are feeling. We get caught up in the everyday and forget about ourselves. Having come out the other side, let me tell you that you will miss these days, however trying. Turning 40 can be difficult also. Now at 53, I realize age is just a number and it truly is just a stepping stone. 40 now seems so young!

I also get the grandmother thing. My son's wife is expecting 10/21 and I am excited and happy for them but not so excited to be a new Grammy. Everyone tells me it is the best thing in the world and once the baby gets here it will be different, and in my heart know it will be so. I have decided to try to be the coolest Grammy ever.

Try to find something that you love to do, be it your job or a hobby. That really helps. I became a mentor and also collect shells and stones at nearby beaches and make gifts with them. Just know this feeling is normal and you will get through this with time. Once your youngest is grown, you will have too much time on your hands. Unless, of course, she decides to come back at 24 to return to school like mine has. Though now it is great fun and we have wonderful times as adult friends as well as mother and daughter. You will, too!

carrie2theworld's picture
carrie2theworld

thank you so much ,i was just trying to work through this all and BOOM now that i was in the room with my grandbaby coming i now have the BABY FEVER it came on fast and blind ,my youngest kids seem to have it to they are begging me to have another i thought i was done with wanting a baby thing but at this moment im just not sure im going to try and stay busy out with my kids and hope i get through this with out starting over with diapers and bottles again i do have friends that are my age and are just now having kids but since i started so early i had really planned to get out and travel some with my younger kids that is still the plan but i have the BABY FEVER as i call it to work through did you ever get that feeling also ?

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

I had only planned on having one child, then when my son went to Kindergarten, and lots of my friends and realtives were having babies, decided to have another at 28. Part of me is glad, but another part would have stuck to my plan to go back to finish my degree, and be able to support myself more easily. My daughter is now a joy but was a lot of heartache for 6 years prior to 8/08 which I could have done without. You may be reacting to turning 40, the new grandchild and your friends having babies. You need to look at the big picture, you will be nearing 60 when this child is grown and you already have so many mixed feelings about where you are in your life. My advice is to be happy with what you have, devote yourself to your 9 y/o child and granddaughter and look toward having the rest of your life to devote to yourself also. Maybe get more education?