Alaska's picture

should I leave or stay?

My husband is very controlling and very strict with the kids. He yells alot and spanks them for talking. We live in a house that is falling apart and he had no plans to fix it. He recently told me to get a job on the weekends, but I'm afraid to leave the kids with him for that long. He is always yelling at me in front of the kids for everything, I can do nothing right for him. I just don't know where to go from here please help.

Whoops_there_he_is's picture

Do you have a phone you can use to call either social services department or the county sheriff's department. Both of these places should have the information you will need to help you in your situation.

Good Luck
Crosby, MN

2xstepmom's picture

Stay if he will agree to go to therapy and abide by what the therapist suggests or if he will go talk to a pastor or other religious leader.

Leave immediately if your children or you are in danger, or if he is an alcoholic, drug abuser or any other addiction.

Leave if after you have talked to him (without your children there!!) and he refuses to attend therapy. Do not tell him you are leaving as he will most likely retaliate against you or the children. You will have to do what you can to protect yourself and your children. Get support as the other poster suggested and just go. This situation could get worse before it gets better, so once you decide to leave tell him as little as possible to protect yourself.

tamz's picture

First, since you asked, I believe your children should not be "hit" ... If you or your husband don't want to be physically hurt by your bosses or each other for making mistakes or talking out of turn then you should not do the same to your children. STOP THE HITTING!!

Do you have a job at all? How old are your children? Do you have family who will help you if you decide to leave?

I would say that you should take some steps to help the family stay together. Your ONLY options are not JUST leave or stay. You should explore counseling first. If your husband is not willing or does not see the need, then maybe a separation will convince him. If he still does not want to work on changing things ... then think about divorce.

Good Luck!!