AnthonyB's picture
AnthonyB

questions concerning brother,mom,dad drama

I hope this is a good place to talk about this but I need to vent this out... I'm a 20 year old male and have a younger brother who's 16. Our parents are divorced and my mom has custody of us, or rather just my brother since I'm too old I guess. So we live at our mom's and go to our dad's apartment every other weekend.

There's always drama between my brother and our mom, which is understandable because our mom is Asian and very strict and has some anger management problems, though I've gotten used to it (not really). Most of the time she's alright but every now and then some random fuse will light and she starts scolding someone (Our step-dad gets his fair share too). Though lately my mom has been pretty tame and holding back on the yelling. Even so, tension persists between her and my brother.

My mom hates our father, but my brother for some reason loves him so much and he seems to try to act like his perfect son. When we're at his apartment, he seems pretty happy. My brother had been wanting to leave and go live with our dad which baffles me because our dad's place is disgusting. For a long while my dad had been expecting him to move in, but my brother was too afraid to tell our mom. Our mom found out eventually and tried to explain to him that she has custody of him and it would cost five grand to go to court to let him live at our dad's. She said she could let him live there and she would send our dad the child support money for the year. But she also said she's worried that our dad doesn't understand how the court works because apparently when they were in court getting their divorce, deciding child custody I guess, my dad suggested to the judge that our step-dad (mom's boyfriend at the time) pay child support instead of himself. All this court stuff was going over my brother's head.

Months of avoiding the subject of my brother moving in with our dad had passed. My parents refuse to speak to each other so they could not settle on anything. My dad still expected my brother to just move in with him despite not having physical custody.

Just recently my brother went ahead and moved in with him without our mom's knowing in the week we have with him during the holidays.

There's so much drama in my family, but usually I've been able to ignore it. But this predicament kind of concerns me. My mom always talks to me about how worried she is about my brother and she's been pretty stressed about the issue. I have no idea what to do or what to be concerned about.

So, can my brother just move in with my dad like that? And what legal issues should I or my parents be worried about? I don't know too much about the court of law and legal issues like child custody or whatever, so please enlighten me.



kimmie_34's picture
kimmie_34
well he cant she has custody and him being only 16 he is under age, if she were to call the cops your dad can be arrested, now once he turns 18 there is nothing she can do about it rather she has custody or not, he is a adult then. i would talk to your brother if you can and tell him and speak to your parents. if your mom doesnt want him to live with him then she has every right to do what she thinks is best. the only thing to all this is if she does call the cops then she is going to have more trouble with her son.you can always call a lawyer or child support place and ask questions they are a big help and they can also give you numbers to call too